My name is Juanita and I am addicted to my insecurities.
So it should come as no great surprise to you that, when I sat down at the end of 2011 to pray about my direction for 2012, our God should open my eyes to the one thing we all hide from.
It’s scary when you think about it–the effect that our addictions have on our lives. How they control us and keep us in their grip. How they act like the quicksand that restricts our souls from being free. The anchors of this world.
Is this you? Have you been in my shoes?
Earlier this month a few friends and myself booked an overnight at a local hotel with the intent to celebrate someone’s birthday. Dinner conversation ensued and before we knew it we were holed up in the Christian bookstore.
It’s funny how one thing leads to another and before you know it….plans completely change.
I stood at the counter to pay for my purchase and I wondered what celebrating there would be….in purchasing a Bible study guide. Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot of JOY in study. But this study would be different. This study meant work and it might be hard and there might be pain and it might run deep.
And IT might be the best thing I have ever done for myself.
We piled in the car, the snow was falling steadily now. A perfect night to just hunker down. But as I glanced again at my bag…. staying in wasn’t what seemed the most comfortable thing to do. Despite the weather outside, I just wanted to run. To bury my head in the sand. Surely, I didn’t need a book to deal with this.
In that moment, I felt a flood of emotions wash over me. What if I shared the truth with them–the girl behind all the tough stuff? What if I showed them my weaknesses? Would they still like me? And, what if they didn’t? What then?
It’s a risky, scary business, this authentic friendship thing. And, I often wonder how I was blessed with the friends that I have. When vulnerability and transparency are key….how can you ensure success?
We chatted for a while before digging in. Then, one by one, we reluctantly pulled out our books. By this point we were all donning pajamas so the propensity to run seemed slim.
It’s funny how we somehow all had the same book.
And we read for hours. And we reflected on our lives and our testimonies and how we arrived at this place. There was laughter and there were tears. But, most of all….there was acceptance. And suddenly, I felt not so alone.
And, in what seemed a very short amount of time, we all realized that we had one thing in common.
Women seeking to find security in things and people….our emotions that get in the way and our feelings that get hurt and our controlling obsessions that overshadow the beauty of who God created us to be.
Blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit. Jeremiah 17:7-8 NLT
And isn’t this where the enemy wants to keep us?
And aren’t our insecurities a result of holding on to an anchor of this world? Of failing to live like we belong in the next world?
What is it, my friends, that holds you back? That weighs you down from the life that our God calls you to? A life of freedom in HIM alone?
We were made for so much more. We are women, created by a God who passionately pursues us. He calls us by name. He tells us we are CHOSEN. He tells us we are BEAUTIFUL. He tells us we are HIS.
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9 NIV
So my friends, why run any longer?
This year, let it be a year of freedom for you. Break free from those chains that hold you down. Let Christ reign in your hearts and renew your spirit. Be who you are in Christ alone and become invisible to the weights of this world.
This time of year we tend to clothe ourselves in weight loss goals. But what about the weight that can only be lost by reaching out to Christ to heal our souls. The insecurities that we bear are far too heavy for us to carry. This is the weight we need to lose this year…. the weight of pride and worry and control and disappointment.
And isn’t it true? When our souls are healthy, our bodies are too?
I challenge you this year to join me on my journey of letting go. To become the beautiful women that HE says we are. I am marching out to reclaim the freedom that I allowed this world to rob me of. Won’t you join me?
You can pick up your own copy of Beth Moore’s So Long Insecurity. It is available from booksellers nationwide and also on Kindle and Nook.
We are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10 NLT