I crouched to the ground, balancing on my hands, and placed my feet in the starting blocks. Then I carefully placed my fingers just so, as close to the white line as I could without touching it. I raised my head and focused on the finish line as I waited for the gun to fire.
I was a sprinter. My goal was simple – get out of the blocks fast and never look back. My focus was to run in a straight line without stopping until I crossed that finish line.
When I was in high school, college, and even in my early twenties I was focused on the finish line. The race didn’t matter to me – graduation, more honors, a job, more recognition….I never got tired of racing straight towards the finish line.
Then I got married and that straight path I was on started to blur. I became focused on being the best wife I could, the best pastor’s wife, the best employee.
Then I struggled with miscarriages and that all-important straight path got blurrier still. I quit my job and struggled to find my purpose as *just* a wife.
Then I became a momma against all odds…and suddenly the straight path I was running on was gone. I felt lost and confused – for most of my life I had run straight, and suddenly I had no idea how to navigate this new path which was full of hills, curves, stop signs and dead ends.
I was scared, and feared that I would never find my way to that straight path again.
After four years I still have yet to find that straight path. Instead, I’m becoming more comfortable on this hilly road called motherhood. I don’t get a medal for cleaning up yet another dirty diaper, or keeping up with the laundry, or wiping milk off the floor for the 15th time. I’ve been up and down and all around more times than I can count, and there are days when I long for that straight path and the comfort that came with it.
Until I am smothered with kisses from Bella and asked to play *just one more* game with Sophie – and suddenly this new road is exactly where I want to be.
What path are you running along?