Now that school is out and summer almost here, most of us look forward to taking a vacation… or just a much-needed rest. Learning one way or another produces within, a passion for life in general. Learning something new excites and rejuvenates.
I love learning about the WORD and figuring out what GOD is teaching me. But what about when GOD is teaching you something you were not ready for, like saying goodbye?
As of this writing today, we just put our beloved yellow lab named Charlie down. A week ago he was riddled with pain, and a rush to the vet gave us the answers. My companion was suffering from a tumor and also lymphoma. It was a shock because we had just been on a long walk together the day before and he was himself up until that vet visit. Our veterinarian suggested putting him to sleep at that time, but my heart told me there was more time together. I spent a sleepless night going over it all with GOD and HE said we had more days with our loyal friend. Always with a pet, the “right time” is hard to know. But after much prayer I was certain we were doing the right thing bringing him home for a short time.
And so, with pain medication in hand, the next day we brought Charlie home and he was eager to be there. We did have some wonderful days together… much slower walks, much-needed hugs, and looking into each other’s eyes with love. Some will say it’s just a dog, but those of us who have owned one, realize what GOD’S idea of unconditional love is… you see it in those sweet brown eyes!
So with each day, I saw a little more slipping away… I of course tried to hold on tighter. There were a few pain episodes, and one seizure. I began to take walks by myself, just to get used to the idea. My hands felt so empty without a leash to hold. I started to grieve with each passing day, and with the realization that my constant shadow of 11 years would soon be gone.
And so here I sit, without my friend at my feet and my heart aches. The house is very quiet now. Charlie’s unconditional love for me I will experience no more.
But praise GOD, how wonderful HIS unconditional love is for us!
I have HIS love, mercy, and grace every single day… it has gone before me and will continue after. HIS love is unchanging and in this letting go, I am leaning in on my GOD with all I’ve got… looking for HIM to heal my grief.
Letting go is hard, but I need to LET GOD. I am certain in my heart that HIS unconditional love will be a salve on my wound… HIS word, a restorative pill so to speak that I need to take every single day. If I let go, HE will catch me into HIS arms; HE will love me and guide me, and forever remain by my side, a side that is empty now without my beloved dog.
I “see” Charlie out of the corner of my eye everywhere I turn, and I miss hearing his sweet nails on our wood floor when he would run to greet me. My pain is gut wrenching at this time… and GOD says: “ let it all go, and I will heal you”. I am learning, and leaning… one day at a time.
LAMENTATIONS 3:32 “ THOUGH HE BRINGS GRIEF, HE WILL SHOW COMPASSION, SO GREAT IS HIS UNFAILING LOVE.”
About Maxine
I’m so sorry about your Charlie. I understand how hard it is to let go…in March, we had to put our beloved 13 year old Yorkie, Mitsy, to sleep. Its a heartwrenching decision to have to make. Dog owners understand – its not just a dog, they become a member of your family. Love and prayers from my family to your family during this difficult time. (By the way…a month after we lost our Mitsy, we brought home Miley, a two month old Yorkie. We are in love again.)
Thanks Amanda – I have cried every day for my beloved Charlie. The house has reminders everywhere!! I will never forget his last breath – it was the hardest thing to do I think because they are so innocent in all of it… it isn’t their decision! His love for us was unconditional…. I MISS HIM!
Maxine Gonzalez recently posted..GLORY in my PRESSING IN
How well I understand your grief. Last August we had our 13 years collie Xena put to sleep, we had only had her 5 years. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. We do still have another dog but this was hard for her too. And even though I still miss Xena, especially when I see a collie or sheltie that looks like her, I know I made the best decision for her. And God is faithful, healing the hurt and always being with us.
Thanks Katie for your understanding… only another dog lover gets this! Charlie was such a sweet loving soul, my shadow really everywhere I went. So now my hands are empty, my walks are lonely too. There are reminders everywhere… we are talking about another one maybe in a few months from now. GOD has given us these creatures for our health and well being. And they are HIS best example of unconditional love!
Maxine Gonzalez recently posted..GLORY in my PRESSING IN
So very sorry to hear about your loss. Charlie sounds lime a wonderful dog. We lost our yellow lab 2 years ago to cancer, and our black lab, 5 years ago. They were both hard to get over, and i still miss them terribly. I KNOW that they are waiting for me in heaven, as i believe that God would not give up on his creation. We now have a sweet, and wild, lab/whippet puppy who is making our lives hum! Praying for you, dear one.
Thanks for your sweet words Alycia! The problem with labs is their sweet sweet faces are always with you! My house is so empty without my shadow and so very quiet. I keep wanting to go let my Charlie out or feed him! I know another dog will help my hurt, but another one will never take his place. I know that GOD has him in heaven with all of the other sweet dogs! Thanks again for your prayers! Bless you too!
Maxine Gonzalez recently posted..GLORY in my PRESSING IN
I am glad that my words blessed you. It took us two years to get another dog. When Kira (our yellow lab) passed, i threw out everything that was hers. I didn’t think we would ever get another dog. Take your time, and grieve your Charlie.
I am so glad that you finally did get another dog… I know we will when we are ready. Believe it or not I plan to volunteer at Freedom Service Dogs. I have a good friend that works there and I think this will help and then when we are ready, we can adopt a dog that is already trained and house broken. I don’t think we want to start from puppyhood again. So next time will be a different experience all around. How very much love we have in our hearts for GOD’S creatures! Thanks again, your words helped today especially!
Maxine Gonzalez recently posted..GLORY in my PRESSING IN
Hello, Maxine
I am deeply touched by this post as it reminded me of our pet cat whom we treated like the youngest member of our family. I remember that my siblings and I use to argue a lot because we all wanted to sleep with our pet, we even agreed on a nightly schedule so that we don’t have to fight over her anymore. Until one day, she was lost for a week. Someone brought her back home but she was already a dead body. I remember how we all cried for her and her burial was like a real person’s burial. Letting go is such a hard thing, especially if it is death we are talking about. But if you have complete faith in God, you will see and understand the purpose of everything. Thanks for sharing your story 
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Thanks Shelon-
God has given us these wonderful creatures to enrich our everyday lives. And they wrap their love around our hearts…. their unconditional love for us is an example of GOD’S love and I think that is why it is so very hard to say goodbye. I do hope you have another wonderful pet in your life today! I know GOD will prepare my heart for another dog as well!
Maxine Gonzalez recently posted..GLORY in my PRESSING IN