A wise, inspired friend wrote a book. She has written several, actually. But this one, I’m a Fixer-Upper, is tearing me apart with the promise of the Holy Spirit putting me back together. When people ask me — actually, to be honest, I am not waiting for them to ask– I tell them that “it is wrecking me, in the best way possible.”
You see, I have been in a holding pattern of sorts. I have known that I a looooooong way to go still, but haven’t really known what to do to change. This book is helping me. One of the most incredible moments (that I have encountered so far) is when she asks the question “How long are you going to wait until you begin the changes necessary to be who you want to be?”
Convicting, right? Right.
I read that and sat, numb, for a few minutes, and then I got my workout clothes on and got out there for a couch to 5K workout. You see, after my youngest was born I completed the program and could confidently call myself a runner. I was nearing some of the best fitness levels of my life. And then (oh yes– here come the excuses.) I got plantar fasciitis. That got better. Then we had the worst winter on record — more snow than I remembered having in a single winter in fifteen years. And by the time spring rolled around I tried to get back into it, but it was just too much like starting over, and my pride couldn’t take it.
Yes, clearly wallowing in self-pity and doing nothing was the better choice, don’t you think?
Not anymore friends- not anymore.
I am taking back my life. I refuse to let fear dictate whether or not I succeed at what I attempt. Fear of the scale, fear of an asthma attack. Fear of shin splints. Fear of gaining weight, fear of not losing weight, fear of losing weight and then gaining it all back again. Fear of never fitting into trendy clothes, fear of never feeling comfortable in my own skin. Fear of getting comfortable in this current skin. Fear of getting my health and fitness back, and then giving up down the road. Fear of being in this exact place again. (Believe me- – the list goes on. This is just the beginning. Can anyone relate?)
So, excuse me while I go and lace up my running shoes. I am going to conquer this battle. One moment at a time.
Will you help me? I need people on the sidelines cheering me on. Urging me forward. Manning my water stations, and recommending songs for my playlists. I need people that will believe in me, especially when I start to waver in my belief in myself. And most of all, I need people to remind me that I was not created to be a slug that lazes about on the couch in her living room.
Tough love is necessary sometimes, don’t you think? So are you with me? How long are you going to wait before you start making the changes you need to make?
We’re in this together. DO NOT EVER FORGET THAT! I forgot, and nearly ate my weight in ice cream. (Slight exaggeration.) Let’s break the cycle. God has a glorious purpose for each and every one of us, and the beauty of the journey is that He created us to need each other. So lets embrace it!