Friends, this post today is a hard one. Primarily because I’d absolutely love to say that I’ve been perfectly hitting every goal I’ve set out to in the past couple months. When the truth is, I haven’t. I have been failing miserably. Well, in every aspect besides having healthy weight gain throughout this crazy thing called pregnancy. I’ll go into the nitty gritty on my personal Count Me Accountable post.
Does anyone else find themselves setting out with the best of intentions only to feel like they’re slipping further and further behind? I know I have been feeling that way often. While I know that each day is a new day, a new chance for a better start, I find it so hard to let the feeling of failing go. Or, I should say, I have a hard time forgiving myself.
It could be in the big, seemingly obvious mistakes, or the little, not-so-noticeable mistakes. It doesn’t matter. When it comes to forgiving myself, allowing myself to move on from the transgression (whether against myself, others, or God) and living my life as one who’s received grace from the One who really matters.
Why is it so easy to forgive others, yet so hard to forgive myself? I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it all comes down to the enemy of my soul wants nothing more than for me to allow myself to live in the shadow of my mistakes. Satan will do anything to keep us from walking in the light of the grace we receive each and every time we humble ourselves before our Father who gave up His life, that I might live in and for Him. I so easily forget that in His last days, Christ told us:
“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” John 14:27
Ah, what would life be like to live in the middle of that truth? I doubt it’d be so hard for me to let myself off the hook. Since Christ left His peace with me when He ascended up to Heaven, as well as His Spirit, then I can do this. I can let myself move on from the things that are holding me back from living wholeheartedly for the God I proclaim to love.
So whether you’re like me and feeling the press of failure for one reason or another, or if you have something ugly that is still lying in our hearts, I think it’s time that we humble ourselves and sit/kneel/bow/lay at the feet of our Father. While doing so, it may be time to journal the issue out, then to tear it up, a reminder that as these pieces are separated from each other forever, so are our transgressions separated from us. Then, will it be time to stand up, in a new light, ready to fight against Satan and stop believing that those issues/failures/mistakes define us.