There are times when everything seems to be moving forward, yet standing still at the same time.
That is where I am right now. My diet is under control, I’m actually exercising regularly, I’m knee deep in my Bible studies.
Yet on Thursday I couldn’t get out of bed. I was overcome with anxiety. My husband, bless his heart, helped me out and let me have some time to work things out.
I lamented all day, wrestling with my thoughts, crying out to God to take away my panic and fear. I tried all the weapons in my arsenal, music, prayers, journaling…nothing calmed the storm that raged on my heart.
I put myself in survival mode, that’s what we moms have to do, right? I put my kids first, got dinner on the table, and quieted my heart before God.
“And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14
Now I know that I’m no Esther story. This down time in this mom’s life doesn’t compare to a princess in training that saves her people. But I know that God has set this time aside for me, for a purpose. There are lessons to be learned, as well as dishes to be washed, faces to be wiped, and hearts to pray over. The overwhelming sense of fear and anxiety do not make sense right now, but I know I’m being refined in the fire. I know this is a time of preparation for something, and even right now, in this moment, I see Him moving. No, I don’t think He has placed this anxiety in me, but I believe He is using it to grow me for Him.
What season of life are you in right now? Do you see these moments as moments for Him, no matter if it’s a hill or valley? I believe each of us, no matter what season, is being prepared for such a time as this.