Longing for a cathedral

In a post I wrote in October 2009, I expressed dissatisfaction with the lack of natural sunlight in an up-and-coming church.

Well …

Now I attend one of those churches … and (gasp!) I like it. I’m all for revision.

One difference: although there is no natural light in this sanctuary, it does offer plenty of architectural lines to trace during the sermon.

Still, I won’t completely abandon my original thoughts. I think we all long for a place of worship that is unbelievably huge, inspiring, filled with light and pure strength. Think cathedral.

I spent a week in San Francisco as a college student. One day I wandered around the city completely alone, with just a map, my wallet, and a camera. At one point I remember sensing that I was being followed. (I am not typically paranoid.) Lucky for me, Grace Cathedral was just a couple of blocks away. I walked/ran into the cathedral and lost myself there for two hours. And it was such a reward, I found out. The church bells tolled and I knew I was in a good place, a safe place. And I didn’t have to pay and I didn’t have to explain to anyone why I was there.

Now … if I went to my church in the middle of the week, at any random time, someone–surely someone–would want to inquire if I could be helped. Just the inquiry would break my state of mind, I’m sure. And I suppose I’d be the only person in a dark sanctuary, and suddenly the janitor would come in and flick on every annoying light and start the vacuum.

My nerves would be fried in an instant and I’d leave, immediately.

I wish … I so long for … a place where I can just go, to love and worship God in a beautiful place, a place for the community, and receive no questions of my purpose.

Photo taken from Grace Cathedral’s website.

That Friend Who’s Facing a Tunnel

When I was little, the McDonald’s playgrounds were outdoors. My favorite was the Hamburglar that my sisters and I could climb up inside and pretend we were in jail.

I’ve never known how to assess today’s McDonald’s PlayPlace. I simply put it in the frightening category – for a variety of reasons. One of which is the likely scenario that I will have to crawl up inside and yank my kid out of harm’s way. And where, oh where, to even find my kid in that tubular, plasticular jungle?

So. Last weekend I went there with my kids. To have fun.

I propped myself on the first landing – the entry to the PlayPlace. Calvin, my 16-month-old, crawled around, but mostly stuck beside me. Elsie, my four-year-old, ventured as far as the entry to the first tunnel. They were happy – I was happy.

One young boy repeatedly asked me to watch him climb to the top and appear at the bottom of the twisting slide. I applauded him, but secretly was more interested in watching my own kids.

His dad appeared and said that he had to climb the entire structure with his boy to give him the courage to do it on his own. I smiled.

Minutes went by. Well, I’m not going to let some dad at McDonald’s PlayPlace be smarter than me. So I took his unspoken advice. I scooped up Calvin, and I prodded Elsie to climb inside with me.

My daughter Elsie has autism, and while she’s athletic, the noisy kids had her head spinning.

We began a very slow ascent. I felt like a momma chimpanzee carrying my youngin’ through the jungle. Elsie insisted on remaining side-by-side in what is a very narrow, kid-infested tunnel.

You know what? I had a blast.

We climbed to the top. We clawed our way across a series of nets that I prayed would hold me. We took a breather at the top before plunging down the twisty slide.

And we did it two more times.

It was the most fun I’ve had in a while.

I think a switch went off in my mind – a switch that has long been dormant. The kid-Johanna switch that used to be regularly on about 20 years ago.

But most of all, I felt good about committing to a tunnel experience with my daughter who needed me by her side.

Think about it. McDonald’s PlayPlace is a giant commitment. Once you venture up, you are not going down in an easy way unless you reach the very top where you can easily slide down.

My question for you: who in your life this week needs you to commit to venturing through a tunnel with them? It’s the sort of challenge you may enjoy more than emerging triumphant from your own tunnel.

You will be modeling what Jesus does for us. He regularly journeys with us through our tunnels.

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” -Matthew 11:28-30, NLT