About Lindsey van Niekerk

Growing up as a missionary kid in Haiti defined much of Lindsey's life. After earning her degree in psychology and communications, she set off on a course that would take her through 10 years of serving in full time ministry. In a dramatic turn of events, Lindsey and her long awaited South African McDreamy now find themselves living life on indefinite sabbatical, basking daily in the knowledge of His radical love & grace. Lindsey writes about her struggles with trying to conceive, how God redeems her broken pieces, and her lifelong journey as the The Little Missionary Girl All Grown Up.

When Your Greatest Fear Becomes Your Story

The memory is seared into my brain.
I can see it like it was yesterday.

Learning Resources Center/Graduate Center, Oral Roberts University, Tulsa, OK

by preservationidaho

I walk into the classroom reminiscent of the sixties in hues of gold and blue.  I smile as I see my-slightly-more-chatty-than-normal-psychology-major friends sitting in our usual front-row-of-the-class seats.  I slide into my seat excited, as our newly-favorite professor begins the study of the day.

Counseling Psychology I.
Finally, it is my senior year and already this material is making my Top Hits list.

Dr. Feller shares scenarios with us and we students engage in a lively, guided discussion, especially the loud mouths on the front row.
And suddenly he begins to present the case that would impact my heart for life….

A couple in counseling….
…because they cannot have a baby.

Immediately solutions spouted from the mouths of students in class.

“They have so many options.”
“Maybe they could adopt.”
“They could get a surrogate.”

I raised my hand in frustration, “But what if that is not the point. What if the desire of this woman is to carry this child in HER womb? What if she just needs to grieve that loss?”

My wise professor capitalized on the moment and asked me to role play the part of that woman in counseling. I did my best to portray her heart, her desires, her longing, her sense of loss.

And I walked out of class that day praying to God with a fear lodged deep into my heart that THAT would never be my story.
I did not want THAT testimony, even if it ended in God’s miraculous favor.

Thirteen years later, and four and a half years into our infertility journey, we are that couple.
I am that woman.
That is my story.

Two years into “The Wait,” I railed and blasted at God.

Why would He let me walk through the ONE valley
that I really begged him from the depths of my soul to not let me walk?

And honestly I still do not have a concrete answer.
I cannot tell you why one of my biggest fears came true.

What I can tell you is how I have changed because of it.
How my heart is softer.
How my eyes see grace quicker.
How brokenness has become like my own skin
And how slowly but surely it has absorbed into my person in ways that are beautiful.

I know that might seem funny to say about myself.

But I see Jesus in me so much more.
And where I need to see Him more in my life is NOW so much more painfully obvious.
Somehow that dichotomy, that polarity within, shows the fragrance of Christ in a way that I did not expect.

In this season MOST unexpected, MOST unwanted, MOST undesired, MOST hated, I have found that Jesus is more real than the breath I breathe and the songs I sing.

The pain is still there.
EVERY.
SINGLE.
DAY.

Yet, grace abounds.

The Law came in so that the transgression would increase; but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more,
Romans 5:5
New American Standard Bible (©1995)

Even in the hard.
Even in my fist-gripping control
Even in the stubborn pride
Even in the give-me-what-I-deserve-moments
Even in my judgments
Even in my fears.

His grace abounds.

In my broken pieces
In my empty spaces
In my hollow heart

His grace abounds.

And if this season makes me a little more like Jesus every day,
Who Am I… 
     …..to say no….???

Even though I had to get there the hard way
Even when I still do it the hard way
over and over again.

Yet…
His grace abounds….
Always.

May you find strength in your broken places today. May the Savior who saved your soul become the One you cling to when the whole world seems to be falling apart. May those moments where you wonder if you can trust Him be consumed with the deep-undeniable-knowing that He loves you above all else, that He is with you like no other, that He holds you in the shelter of His wings, and that in every circumstance His grace abounds all the greater because of your pain.

How to Hold onto Jesus for all you are Worth

Welcome! We’ve created a Special Series for you this month! We’ll
take 4 weeks and focus on 4 elements to ‘Reset’ our lives for Him.
We’re calling it ’4×4 Reset’. If you missed the introduction, you
can find more details here. Each post will feature a READ IT
(scripture verse), a SEE IT (motivation), & a DO IT (challenge/
call to action). Our 4×4 Reset Toolbox is available and has links
to all the posts and to our resources, including our Build a Firm
Foundation Printable tracking page. Be sure to subscribe to not
miss a day, & join us on Twitter & Instagram using our hashtag
#4x4Reset!

How to Hold onto Jesus for All You Are Worth

My mom was 22 years old when she experienced the worst day of her life — before and since. A midnight plane crash, as family and friends watched unable to stop this dreadful nightmare, injured the co-pilot, pilot, and my parents, and then took the life of their firstborn child.

My mom tells me it was in the wake of that unbelievable storm that she learned how to hold onto Jesus for all she was worth.

I have held her words close to my heart for many years now, but never truly understood their merit, their weight until facing my own worst day — the worst season of my life.

Walking through the valley of infertility and undiagnosed chronic pain for two years had already left me reeling to trust in this God who had seemingly been faithful to me my entire life, but somehow was failing me. I remember thinking, “God hates me,” and even articulating those words to my husband when grief felt like a mantle, absorbing its way into my own skin, leaving me wondering if I would feel anything on my own ever again.

That’s when the call came — the one where I found out that my parents, living in Haiti, could not be reached after a 7.0 earthquake had rocked that tiny nation.

For 17 hours my sister and I held vigil, calling, messaging, researching every aspect, person, organization, news site that could give us any scrap of information.

At Hour 14, I felt my faith and sanity slipping. I said to my sister, “I’m not thinking right. I need to go pray.”

I barely made it into my bedroom, scrambling to close the door, before I fell to the floor and tears burst from the most guttural place in my soul. I forcefully, without the slightest of inhibition, reminded God of His promises to me and to my parents that they WOULD indeed SEE their children’s children. And there…in that rawest of moments, He opened a glimpse of the future and showed me my parents laughing and playing with their as-of-yet-unseen grandchildren, securing the promise from His word into my broken heart.

Almost 3 hours later, we finally heard from my parents, that they were alive and safe!!  To say that was the most amazing relief I have felt in my life, would simply be an understatement.

My personal journey of recovery since that time has been arduous and tiresome, joyful and faith-challenging, holding-on-to-Jesus-for-all-you-are-worth-filled.

I am an analytical girl whose mind is a breeding ground of activity that the devil often uses to destroy the threads of peace the Father is weaving into my mind. And yet, the more I put Him in my focus, and not the storms that assault me, the less the enemy’s words consume my soul.

Here are a few Scriptures and a prayer that helps me to place my thoughts under his thoughts….may this encourage and strengthen you today.

READ IT::

SEE IT::

 

DO IT::

No matter what your situation, God has a promise and a truth JUST FOR YOU. Ask Him for it with faith that He loves you enough to give you that assurance and then…hold onto that promise for all you are worth. When your mind begins to wander or falter, lift your eyes to Him, holding tightly to the promise He has dropped into your heart. THERE…you will find peace.

“Jesus, I thank you that you give me perfect peace when I focus my heart, my thoughts, my attention on You. ___________ {fill in your situation} is really scaring me and consuming my mind. I make a choice today to lift my eyes to You, knowing that You have a plan, a way out or through, an oasis in this desert, even when I do not see it.  I choose to set my hope on You, Father, maker of Heaven and earth….and me. Remind me of your promises TO me today. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

It’s Okay to be a Sponge

“Mommy, if grownups know everything, how will I know everything one day if I don’t ask you?”

These words tumbled from my own mouth after my mother asked me to give her a break from the questions. I was probably 5 years old, maybe 6, but I can still distinctly remember that feeling and desire to KNOW and to know EVERYTHING. {Maybe that is why the Lord is delaying our childbearing days…if the little one is anything like me, I may have to pray for divine answers HOURLY!}

In college, after waiting a year and a half to declare a major, I promptly decided on two because, well, I wanted to learn everything I could and I wanted to be diversified. Considering both fell under a bachelor of arts, I am not sure how successful I was, BUT nonetheless, my choices were teasingly diverse to me.

On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I would sit at the front of the class to not only soak in every word from my psychology professors but also to interact and debate points of counseling and relationships and issues common to man. But on Tuesdays and Thursdays, a different Lindsey would come to class, planting herself in the middle of the classroom in a position to soak up the ping-pong of words from my fellow communications comrades. Not introverted enough for psychology nor extroverted enough for a communications degree alone, I soaked in information from both worlds into my hungry brain.

In fact, just before graduation knocked at my door, my communications professors dubbed me “The Sponge” for my desire to not simply pass tests but to soak up every bit of knowledge possible. Heck, during the last semester of my senior year, I took an un-required full load because I figured I {or Mom & Dad, at least} was paying for it so I better squeeze every bit of knowledge from the university that my pennies would pay for. {I know…I know…I am kind of a nerd…but really…honestly…I’m sort of proud of it!}

But let me be real….I should have taken ALL FOUR YEARS AS seriously. I mean I took French. FRENCH?!?! Now while most of you may be applauding my willingness to dive into a new and strange foreign language, I have to tell you….I GREW UP in a French-speaking country. So not NEW or STRANGE or even FOREIGN!! So no real challenge there. And then…I had the audacity to get a C one semester because I hated the curriculum and the teaching style of the professor and eventually stopped giving my best effort. Ugh! A thorn in the side of this nerdy little missionary girl. Now…with hindsight and all, I wonder now why I did not take Spanish {There were not too many language choices available except Hebrew…and although I would love to learn that too….well…that’s another story for another day}. Bottom line, I wish I had pushed myself more.

And while this might seem like a silly, LONG, and even rambly example…..sometimes we are still like that. {It’s not just me, right?}

We want to learn, to suck the proverbial marrow out of life, so God pushes us out there with jobs or kids or houses or dreams or relationships or ministries, sometimes after waiting in the wings for longer than we planned. It’s finally happening, and then…we shrink back wondering why we ever signed up for this learning curve in the first place. Why did we ask for more? Pray for more? Open up our hearts to the Father saying, “Please use me!”

“I must have lost my mind,” we think to ourselves.

So we close the brand new, shiny door the Father is slowly opening for us because the growing pains seem to hurt too much or the lessons are boring and repetitive or we are just plain tired out.

My friend, Josh Miller, described it to me like this one time: when you declare a major in undergrad, the first class you take is Intro to {fill in the blank} to give you the basics of what the next 30-40 credit hours will be about. However, as you move on to each class, following Intro, the professor will spend some time reviewing material that you learned in the very first class. He doesn’t do this because the students are stupid or thick-headed {hopefully}. He does it because…well…we forget. We’re human and he gets that.

And so does God.

There is no shame in on-going learning.
In fact, it is kind of part of God’s built-in plan.
We’re human.
And HE gets that.

We won’t always be at our best or apply ourselves completely
But other times we will.
There are no trophies or dunce caps in God’s great classroom
just love and grace and mercy
and the best textbook ever
reminding us of what we might have forgotten, even from 5 minutes ago.

I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.
Philippians 3:12-14, The Message

When You Just Need ONE Thing….

“Oh, Lord, please don’t let me bleed again this month…”

My heart held up this plaintive cry heard only in the recesses of my soul.

After four years of no birth control, some doctor’s visits, possible prognoses, and A LOT of waiting in between, this monthly emotional cycle is no stranger to me.

But somehow, this month the pang and squeeze of my heart feels a little deeper, a little tighter than it has in a long while, and I find myself consciously remembering to take deep breaths lest the sorrow overtake me.

Four years of waiting to be pregnant, three years of unknown chronic illness, 2 years ago since I almost lost my parents in the Haitian earthquake, a year and a half since we stepped down after 10 years of full time ministry, 6 months since we decided to pursue foster care, 5 months after we put in an offer on a house….and in every circumstance…silence, SLAMMED closed doors, windows sealed shut, and when I look at the ugly realities, I can truly often wonder, “Where is God?”

Even Christian friends and acquaintances have looked at me with sorrow/pity/frustration, unsure of what words to encourage and to uplift that just might alleviate the hard place, or some say quick words meant as a healing balm, yet hit like salt in an already bleeding wound, and maybe worse yet, when you can see or hear the relief on their faces that they are not walking this road, “I can’t imagine what you are going through…”

Yet, I know that I too have been in each of those positions — unsure, quick to judge, filled with relief — so I hear the Lord reminding me…

“Grace first, Lindsey. Grace first…ALWAYS!!”

So I pray, “But Lord if I am not pregnant, please let it come because I do not want false hope…”

And come it does, hard and fast with painful reminders that this season has not yet passed. And on top of it all, my body succumbs to the ravishing of the dreaded flu , and I weep and thrash in fiery melancholy, “Father, when will it be enough? It is just too much…too much. Please give me some relief from this life of endless waiting and heartache.”

The lyrics of a familiar song press into my grief…

“Sometimes He calms the storm and other times, He calms His child….”

And then I hear it…His voice…even more familiar to me…

“I will not give you more than you can bear, child.
That is my promise to you.
Am I a man that I should lie?
I WILL NOT be slack concerning My promises to you.
Trust My heart.
Trust My heart.”

…….

Two weeks later, as we signed papers, took key in hand, and crossed the threshold of this house that is now OUR home {where I sit even now as I type *SQUEE*}, I find myself in awe, breathing deep the relief of sweet breakthrough.

I just needed ONE thing to work out…ONE thing to crash through the walls….ONE thing to remind my doubtful heart of His faithful promises.

I often feel like the man who threw himself at the feet of Jesus….“Lord, I believe!!! Help my unbelief!”

How about you?

May I place courage in your weary hands today?

May I help pull back the barriers, showing you the light shining on the pathway of hope for your circumstances?

May I challenge the space where death seems greater than life in your wounded soul?

May I, as a fellow, injured child-warrior,
squeeze your hand in your RIGHT NOW
and believe WITH you…
and even FOR you…
that He is faithful to complete the work,
to fulfill the promises,
to never abandon you NO MATTER WHAT?

How can I pray for you today in the midst of your storm, your rainy season?


And may I also ask you to pray for me?

In the process of packing and moving and cleaning and painting,
we did not check our mail for almost two weeks,
and a few days ago discovered a letter from our social worker,
ready to start our home study process
for approval as foster care & adoptive parents.
The letter was dated on the very same day that we signed for our house.
WAIT! Did you catch that?? THEVERYSAMEDAY
And while I want to cry and shout with amazement
at God’s perfect timing,
I AM TERRIFIED,
and I could surely use your prayers
and words of advice & encouragement
for what this next WILDLY unknown season is going to hold.
Thank you in advance for the heart squeezes!!

 

The Paradox of Emptiness

Have you ever wondered if
your own personal desert season will EVER end?

Photo Credit : wallpapers-diq.com

When will I find my life long love?

When will I hold my own babies in my arms?

When will I have enough money to buy that house?

When will I get that dream job or afford to stay at home or buy the right car or take the perfect vacation?

When will eating chocolate actually help me LOSE calories?

Okay, so maybe the last one will never REALLY happen…

Photo Credit : pennmedicine.org

But sometimes life feels like moving from one waiting room to the next, checking in, watching others go in and out of those sacred back room doors, wondering when it will be MY turn, feeling forgotten or maybe even abandoned.

My pilgrimage through my own personal ongoing valley — chronic pain, infertility, indefinite ministry sabbatical, relocating continents — feeling the fortification of my character every step of the way, has become a daily reality. I often find my heart and soul succumbing to moments of sheer desperation, gripping anxiety, and even plain, old despair.

The Father relentlessly pursues me with a passion that creates unspeakable joy and agonizing tears, causing me to question if there is anything truly left for me to give.

And somehow there still is, as He digs deeper into the recesses of my subconscious, molding and shaping me into His image and likeness more and more each day.

The undertaking often leaves me empty, poured & spilled out at His feet, longing for His mercy & grace, which was always there for the asking.

But…..

….I was too stubborn to ask, let alone, receive what He had been holding out to me all along.

Photo Credit: coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com

So He plows deeper, breaking through years of good-girl tendencies and self-protecting hardened soil, until He unearths the richness He always knew was there.

Because He created it after all.

So as I am stripped of my self, my flesh, my willful desires, He opens me up to a world strange and wonderful, full and free, ready to be filled with His purpose, His love, His destiny.

And in those moments, the paradox of the Gospel becomes clearer….

I must decrease
so He can increase

I must be empty
to feel full

I must die
so I can truly live

It is NOT pain-LESS.
There is no “Get Out Of Jail FREE” card.
Care Bears do not pick you up and let you dance upon the clouds.

And yet…
Empty, broken, and spilled out
I am stumbling onto the greatest secret
that is so plain if you look at the life of Jesus on this earth

God works through disregarded and ignored vessels.

Photo Credit: dailytheology.wordpress.com

 He delights in the plain, the simple, the ordinary.

So I walk around empty…

…still fighting the flesh inside of me that wants to fill its own desires
but here in the vacancy, subtle reminders stir my spirit, drawing me back to His heart beat.

You see death
I see a garden

You see hopeless
I see a light

And then I know…all over again…

When I am overwhelmed
Still I will overcome
My battle has been won

Nothing is impossible for you, Lord…
You hold my world in your hands

Photo Credit: shoutlife.com

And THAT is for you too, my sweet sister!

Hold fast in the season of empty,
knowing that He has ALREADY overcome for you,
And WHEN He fills you with more of Him
and less of you,
you will truly be able to say…

My cup overflows….

I Stand

“I don’t think you are a depressed person, but I do think that you are an anxious person.”

Photo Credit

These are the words that my doctor said to me a year ago after 2 years of VERY apparent physical issues without CONCRETE solutions.

“Sounds about right,” I thought to myself.

In the 2nd grade, I received my first assigned book report. Now, I have to tell you I have ALWAYS loved to read. As a toddler, I would carry around books, handing them over to whichever adult was nearby. I would beg them to read to me as I followed along with the “magical” figures in the book, pretending to understand every single word. This love of reading only increased as I learned my alphabet and a whole new world was opened up to me. But the day I found out that I had to write that book report, I cried and cried because I didn’t know HOW to start it, and I was SO afraid that I would fail.

At the age of 12, I went on my first ski trip. I was awkward and uncomfortable in the layers of clothes and metal appendages protruding from my feet and palms. I was a missionary kid growing up on a Caribbean island, for crying out loud! Skiing was just not a normal activity for us. But my friends were going so I decided to try. And I failed, falling again and again and again. After the same woman sailed past me on the bunny slope for the 3rd time, I decided that my pride {and bottom!} had been wounded enough and I took those ridiculous objects off of my feet and marched down the mountain, defeated and embarrassed before noon.

I can list over and over again, throughout the years, situations, goals, circumstances, relationships where anxiety has clung to me as a constant companion, whispering her opinions and directives into my ear.

When the guy who had been my best friend chose the other girl.

When I did not know where I should work after college.

When I found myself 25, recently broken up with my boyfriend of 3 years and wondering if God had forgotten about me.

When living in a foreign land as an adult was harder than I thought it would be.

When we heard the news that getting pregnant was never going to be “easy” or “fast.”

Even this year, even today, my unwelcome sidekick is never far away, persistently pressing her agenda into my soul.

I think she may be like Paul’s thorn in the flesh for me…

“…even though I have received
such wonderful revelations from God.
So to keep me from becoming proud,
I was given a thorn in my flesh,
a messenger from Satan to torment me
and keep me from becoming proud.”

2 Corinthians 12:7

I’m not sure, but she is definitely NOT budging so………….

WHAT DO I DO?

Sometimes her voice fills me with fear, doubt, regret, disappointment, anger, abandonment….

How do I overcome her when she just WILL NOT GO AWAY??

In Christ Alone.

It sounds so simple, right?

And yet, in my almost 30 years of following Jesus, it has probably been the hardest thing for me to do–trust Him, surrender to Him, yield to Him, rest in Him.

To rest and know that “….in the love of Christ, I stand.”

What about you?

“…and having done all, to stand. Stand.”
Ephesians 6

What are the obstacles, the thorns in your flesh, blocking your way from total victory, complete healing, ultimate surrender?

Here in the love of Christ I stand.

How can you find the courage to take one more step?

Here in the love of Christ I stand.

Where do you discover strength to face one more battle?

Here in the love of Christ I stand.

How can you have enough strength just to make it through today?

Here in the love of Christ I stand.

These are words that I recite over and over in my mind and my heart.

Here in the love of Christ I stand.

You are His beloved and you are not alone.
You are not loved more for your success or less for your seeming failure.
You simply stand in the love of Christ.

That is what the Father see when He looks at you……

LOVE

No.

Matter.

What.

 

So today, as you stand in His love, bask in His grace, rest in His mercies, may your soul find peace.

Running this race, living this life, is one step at a time. Don’t be discouraged. Just remember His love….for….YOU!

 

“What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My comforter, my all-in-all
Here in the love of Christ I stand”
~In Christ Alone

{If you cannot see the video, please click HERE to view}

The Scarlet Thread

 I can see the scarlet thread, weaving its way through, permanently etching itself into the fabric of my life.

This life where I have thrived in the comfort of the warm tones of greens and browns, where I have found freedom and  uniqueness in pushing out a brighter green here, a richer brown there.  My life was good. Happy. Almost perfect even.

I mean I was a missionary kid, and that was hard. Being different everywhere you go.

ALL. THE. TIME.

But eventually, I learned to embrace the different, enjoy how my warm little world had “slightly” more color than the average  folk.

And then on January 12, 2010, a 7.0 earthquake ravaged the island of my birth.  I was in South Africa at the time. My sister  was in the United States. We would embark upon a grueling 18-hour-vigil to know if our parents, our modern-day heroes,  were dead or alive.

I had already seen glimpses of that scarlet thread, in our then 2-year-struggle of trying to conceive, in my continuously worsening health conditions, in ministry-related relationship challenges.

And now the weaver seemed furiously adding this blood red monstrosity to my tapestry, and I hated it.

Although there was immediate relief that came the moment I heard my parents shaken voices, in the days and months that followed the trauma of all of the back-to-back life events began to take their toll.

By the end of 2010, I found myself on sabbatical from  full time ministry and in the middle of personal counseling because in spite of my own psychology background, I knew I could not help myself out of this pit.

I did NOT want to be the barren woman, having people feel sorry for me.
I did NOT want to have chronic pain slowing me down, stopping me from doing what I could always do.
I did NOT want to face the horrible devastation that ravaged my island home.
I did NOT want to daily feel like a failure for having to step down and to back away from the only life I had ever known.

At the dawn of 2011, I discovered the OneWord community.
I realized that were I to define 2010 in OneWord, it would be GRACE.

It is what the Lord would relentlessly speak to me.
It was like a mantra that resounded again and again in my head.

And then I felt Him drop into my spirit my word for 2011 — Redeemed.

Redeemed by fulfilling all the promises He has made to me.
Redeemed by showing me in fresh new ways how His blood was for me.
Redeemed by illustrating what a gift this price was.

I thought I knew where He was taking me, but a more subtle, more personal truth simply blew me away.

My heart is for the broken. It always has been. I rediscovered that this year.  But I had felt hurt by people, by God, and the result was pulling myself away.  Albeit needed for awhile, this course could not last  forever.

He was taking me on a journey, a pilgrimage of sorts.
He had to allow me to be broken to understand the broken.
To experience darkness so that I may be allowed into others’ dark rooms.
To know emptiness, loneliness, and fear like they were your own skin so I could look into another’s eyes or type words that would resonate,

“YOU ARE NOT ALONE!”

So at the end of the year while talking to a friend, sharing bits and pieces of my journey, my struggles, my fears, my pain, my ugly, I revealed how I had finally seen God’s hand and heart after several years of mistrust and hurt and how THROUGH my tears, laughter and thankfulness came.

I, then, heard myself saying,

“It’s amazing how in the midst of the biggest hurt of my life. In the midst of the trials and pain, I am finding joy. And nothing has really changed, but the brokenness makes more sense now. And I realize that He is REDEEM-ing everything for His glory, for my future, for a treasure to give to the world.”

I paused in amazement. My heart leapt inside of me with the significance. My spirit reverberated inside of me….

….step back and see.

That horrible scarlet thread damaging my well-put-together tapestry — a fabric, usually of worsted, worked upon a warp of linen or other thread by hand – was not so horrible any more.  In fact, I began to see beauty in the cracks, value in the holes, purpose in the frayed edges.

HE HAS REDEEMED MY BROKEN PIECES

I breathe in His heart for me.
His overwhelming grace
His amazing love
His never-ending promises.

He is using the hard.
He has plans even in my mess.
He is good even when sorrow is like my own skin.
Everything is being redeemed
by the One who knows me better than I could ever know myself.

Nothing is left spilled and wasted on the ground.
Even the chaff has purpose with Him.

My life is Redeemed.