REDEMPTION in HIS RAIN

April 22, 2013 By 10 Comments

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Ahh….. rain….. I so love the sound of it.  We don’t get much of it here in Colorado, so I relish it when it falls to earth.  Water in general means many different things to people.

Water can quench a thirst, it is used in baptism, and JESUS used it for a miracle at the wedding in Cana of Galilee.  Jesus washed HIS disciples’ feet with water and HE walked on it as well.

Water is used in the Old Testament as a symbol of purification in ritual cleansing. 

GOD has provided water to us as a necessity for life.  In general, I think we take water for granted even though we could not live without it.

But there is that familiar expression that “when it rains it pours” and this wording is all about our difficulties in life, and how all of it is compounded when one trial happens on top of another!  Are you in this familiar place?

I see some friends battling with physical issues, questioning GOD and HIS plan, and asking why.

I see others living with burdens I cannot imagine, some financial and some concerning family, and through it all saying they will trust.

These difficult trials cause us to ponder: why me? why them?

And just like the rain that inevitably falls after a long hot drought, GOD’S love falls and washes over us like spring GRACE…. just when we need it…. just when we are at our limit.  And just like we need water to survive, so we need GOD’S living water to sustain us whenever life’s trials rain upon us.

I certainly don’t have all the answers as to why bad things happen to good people…. I just know we are all broken…. it is the world seeping into our souls and making us dirty in all sorts of ways.  Because of our sins, we have “…forsaken GOD, the spring of living water, and have dug our own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.”

JEREMIAH 2:13

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What does this say about us?  It says that when life rains on us, we cannot go it alone even though we try.  We try hard to fix situations,  and then soon realize that our going it alone only muddies the water.  We need to draw deep from GOD’S well of salvation and let HIS living water wash over us, like rain on a fresh spring morning!  Only the grace of GOD can be poured out abundantly on us in our situations if we hold fast to our faith in HIM. 

The next time it rains or you see water in a beautiful peaceful setting…. remember HIS redemption for you.  Water is all around us every day…. may we never take it for granted, and may we always remember its life-giving purpose for us.

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ISAIAH 12: 2 “Therefore with joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.”

 

 

Filed Under: Battles, Spiritual, Thought for Today Tagged With: , , , 10 Comments

THE REDEEMING RACE

February 22, 2013 By 4 Comments

 

Sometimes I feel as if I am in a rat race… when I am out and about and all of humanity is rushing around me, I tend to rush too.  But what are we all rushing towards?  And why?  It would appear to someone as if we are all in a race together to see who finishes first!  Who gets married first… which one of us buys our first house… who has their first child… and it goes on and on.

As GOD’S wisdom seeps into our souls, however, we begin to understand that all of the rushing, and achievements, and attaining stuff is really a waste of time overall. The only true, pure and right goal in our lives is living for our GOD and finishing the race strong with HIM!   

Ecclesiastes 4: 4 says: “Again, I saw that for all toil and every skillful work a man is envied by his neighbor.  This also is vanity and grasping for the wind.”

All this racing around does not make us happy…. it is as if we are chasing after the wind.

I don’t know about you, but I often feel the world pressing against me, and I tend to press back with my private time with my GOD.  HE has me on HIS path anyway…. HE is in control…. I take comfort in letting HIM drive the car, so to speak!  When I do, HE takes me through beautiful fields, with blooming flowers and blessings.  HE also drives skillfully through those valleys and carefully up mountaintops. 

If I am caught up in the continuous rat race around me, then I miss looking out the window!

I have realized that in my day, I must STOP…. STOP to feel and know of HIS presence. This takes a conscious effort until it becomes a habit.   Some days are more difficult than others to do this, but even in that, HE gives me perseverance in HIS grace.  And I do believe this whole business of perseverance is the hardest thing to deal with as a Christian.

How many of us, in our hearts, just want to give up?  It is easy to say persevere, but how do we do that?

So many of my friends are going through their days against great difficulty…. but continuing to move forward towards that finish line where CHRIST awaits us is our daily perseverance in a life filled with HIS grace and mercy. 

We cannot persevere alone…. we are just not made that way!  And HE gives us just enough light for the day we are on…. if we peer ahead, we peer into darkness.  So this one day at a time existence and living in the present is how we persevere!

Sometimes I feel as if I will never make it through a day…. do you?  And then, before I realize it, the day is done, and I have survived it.  I call those “marathon” days.  Those are the days where I need to hang on to HIS presence with all my might.  Let’s not forget…. HE never lets us go!  We are the ones who forget to reach for our Savior!

Isn’t it wonderful then, that in this race, and in our days, we are REDEEMED?  CHRIST’S blood is our redemption, and because HE died for us on that tree…. we will finish the race strong and loved by HIM.

HEBREWS 12: 1 “…. let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Battles, Goals, Spiritual Tagged With: , , , , 4 Comments

A Broken Heart

February 15, 2013 By 8 Comments

I remember parts of the day like it was yesterday, and it has been 18 ½ years.

I remember what I was wearing.

I remember that it was an early summer day with beautiful weather.

I remember trying to hold it together.  Again.  I was not going to break down!

I WAS. NOT.

We were supposed to attend the retirement party of a very good friend.  I wanted to go, but I didn’t see how I could stop crying.

“Everything is OK.”   I kept repeating this to myself over and over.  “It will be fine.”

But it wasn’t.  And it wasn’t going to be.

At least not without some help.

It had been two years since we had buried her.  Two years since dear friends carried her tiny casket out of the chapel.  Two years since I sat at her grave on a sunny June day, with friends gathered around, and felt like my life was over.

I had to get through this…I HAD to.

I had been reading passages on grief.  I was clinging to 1Peter 5:7 and Matthew 11:28.  I had been trying to pray.  I had been asking the Lord to help me with my grief.  I was functioning, but only on the outside.  I went through the motions every day.

And on that day, 18 ½ years ago, I collapsed in my kitchen.  I slid to the floor in a crying, sobbing, withering mess.

I couldn’t do this.  I could not continue pretending that I was fine.  That I was OK.  I couldn’t function.  I couldn’t even stand.  This was NOT working.  I felt like I was at the bottom of a deep hole.  A VERY deep hole and I had NO IDEA how to get out.

My husband called a doctor friend who suggested some ways to get through the rest of the weekend and gave him the name of a doctor he thought could help us and told us we should call him on Monday.

I made an appointment with one of the doctors and it was like I had been given a gift.

The doctor assured me that my grieving cycle was normal.  He told me I was not alone.  Many people get depressed.

He encouraged me to write a letter to my daughter.  He encouraged me to talk about my feelings.  He listened to me and he listened to my husband and me together.  He gave me steps to help me climb out of the dark hole.  And he helped me to learn the signs of depression and what some of my triggers were.   He equipped me to recognize when I might be slipping into that hole again.

Slowly I began to feel better.  Slowly I began to reclaim my life.  I was climbing out of the hole and I felt like I could begin to see the sunshine.

I was going to be OK.

I have shared about Amy on my blog. But I have only shared portions of the story.  I have not shared this dark part.  You might ask why I am choosing to share this part of my story here on Must Love God.  Our theme for February is heart health.  After much prayer about what to write and what direction to take my post, it became clear that the Lord wanted me to share this part of my story.

I was depressed because my heart was broken.  I needed to learn how to deal with my broken heart so that I could move forward with my life.  I had a wonderful husband and a young son…my life wasn’t over!

Yes, I had endured heart ache and pain, but I had much to live for.

A broken heart – no matter what the cause – is not a reason to crawl in a hole and give up.  It is a reason to seek professional help when necessary and learn that there is life on the other side of the darkness.

 

Filed Under: Battles, Emotional, Loss, Spiritual Tagged With: , , , , 8 Comments

Your Heart’s Armor

February 11, 2013 By 45 Comments

The Word _ Simplystriving

Sun’s rays warmed the nape of my neck as I lingered long. My journal and Bible now lay closed on my lap as I traced the edges of the worn, emerald leather binding. I have a nicer looking Bible, but this one I’ve carried around since my 16th birthday, suits me.

As I was reflecting on how long I’ve poured into this One, I heard it. My neckline tingled as I sat up in alert. For I knew right away, I was in the presence of The King.

“Guard your heart, child.”

That was all my heart heard. I sat as long as I could, hoping for more details. When I rose to go about my day, I still had no idea what was to come or what I needed to stay clear of.

But I knew how much He loved me. That He cared enough to warn me of whatever was headed my way. And I spent the rest of the morning praising and thanking Him for who He is…

I would find out later that afternoon.

With one phone call, the doctor confirmed what I already knew. And as I sat down, trying to determine if I should call my husband or break the news when he was home, verses started percolating. One after another, they rose to the surface like I had rehearsed this moment. Each perfectly timed. Supporting another. Soothing the hurt inside…

It was then I recalled what He had told me that morning…

Friends, I think I may have stumbled onto the best armor for our hearts yet:
Hiding His Words. Right in our very marrow.

 

The Wellspring of Truth is where we should draw our comfort from. We can drink it in and just know…the big thing we’re facing, the one we can’t see around — He can. And He’s got it covered.

There’s no denying its validity. Even the enemy cowers under its strength. And to harbor its words in our hearts…friends…what can penetrate that?

Make no mistake, I still went through the hard. I still said goodbye to another baby. But everything that I hold true is still the same. My circumstances may change, but my ultimate reality never does.

  • God never changes. He is the only constant in this tipped, spinning wild world. (Malachi 3:6, Hebrews 13:8)
  • God loves me relentlessly. In fact, so does His Son. (John 3:16)
  • Jesus has paid for my ransom.
  • He considers me His child. I’m His. (John 1:12)
  • And He has promised to come get me. (John 14:1-4)
  • In the meantime, He’s assured me He will walk the very path He’s asked me to walk. (Matthew 28:20)

Friends, Jesus loves me. The Bible tells me so. And that’s enough for me.

 

How about you? Do you savor His Words in your heart? How do you guard your wellspring of life? I’d love to hear.

Filed Under: Battles, Emotional, Loss, Spiritual Tagged With: , , , 45 Comments

My Soul Cries Out

February 8, 2013 By 5 Comments

It’s February, the excitement of the new year has passed.  How is your heart?

Are you discouraged by the lack of sticking with your goals?  Have you found you need to tweak those goals in order to achieve them daily?

I want to ask you to look deep into your heart.  How do you feel?

I personally have lost momentum.  I know what I should be doing, however, I continue to lean towards a sedentary lifestyle and make food choices that aren’t the best.

I feel like Paul.

It’s my heart.  What is going on in my heart? What can I do in my heart to help me achieve my physical goals?  When my heart is parched, my bones feel dry, I feel spent. That’s when I get discouraged and defeated and begin to do those “very things I hate.”

But thankfully, like Paul, I can learn to live in the spirit (Romans 8). And while my goals this year are specifically geared towards my physical wellness and being, my heart has to abide in the spirit and I have to look at my whole being working together.  I cannot achieve any physical goals, emotional goals, spiritual goals, or mental goals until my heart is in the right place.

 

 

This has become one of my favorite songs to listen to while trying to set my heart right.

Do you want to abide in Him?  Do you want to be something new?  How is your heart health?

Filed Under: Balance, Emotional, Thought for Today Tagged With: , , , , 5 Comments

Lifestyle Changes

February 4, 2013 By 2 Comments

Last month I wrote on a new diagnosis that my hubs had received.
On January 1st we started Whole30. Basically, Paleo on steroids.

I’ve done great….except for the cheating. I have been using ‘real’ creamer in my coffee, and we had a total bust weekend where we threw caution to the wind and ate what we wanted.

Hubs and I have done Body for Life. On their system you get a cheat day. Well. Let me tell you. My body was NOT HAPPY! My, ahem, plumbing specifically.

This Whole30 is going to be our new way of eating. Paleo actually. We may do Whole30 once in a while to reset if needed.

The positives outweigh the negatives. I’ve had more energy. I’ve had less bloating. I lost 8 pounds in a month with hardly any exercise. Think of how well I could have done if I had worked out too!

I am here to encourage you! You will NOT regret doing Whole30!

 

Filed Under: Battles, Goals, Physical, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , 2 Comments

Instinct

February 1, 2013 By 7 Comments

When someone says something harsh about us. When there’s an attack (real or perceived) on our beliefs, values or rights. When we feel betrayed by someone. When we are faced with trials. When justice isn’t served. When we’re unfairly fired. When plans fall through. When discouragement, anger, frustration, irritation, or countless other negative feelings settle in.

What does our instinct tell us to do?

Instinct can be defined as a behavior that is mediated by reactions below the conscious level.

So when something happens, what does our instinct lead us to do? Do we react out of the flesh side of ourselves, or from our spiritual side? Do we allow anger, bitterness, and hate to bombard us, or are we able to meet these situations with love, grace and a prayerful attitude?

The answers to these questions are crucial. For we are told that “the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart.” (Matt 12:34b) This means that the way we react without thinking gives us a deeper truth–the truth into what our hearts are consumed with.

This doesn’t mean that we’ll respond correctly every time. Even if we’re growing in our relationship with Christ, continually sacrificing so that our priorities will remain in the proper order, and looking for ways to honor Him in all we do…we still won’t always respond the way we know we should. The way we so eagerly want to respond.

Even if we don’t choose the best way to react, each time that we choose the better option we take a step toward the best option becoming a habit. With every better step, we make progress.

So how can we begin to make progress toward our instinct resulting in the best reaction?

  • We memorize scripture (Psalm 119:11)
  • We meditate on positive influences (i.e. music, tv, internet interactions, etc)
  • We continuously pray for it (1 Thess 5:17)
  • We think before we speak (WWJD anyone?)
  • We respond in only ways we wish others would respond to us (Luke 6:31)

If we are faithful to do all these things, I believe that little by little our instincts will align with His instincts. When this happens, we can be confident that our heart is healthy. After all, our end goal is to be so completely and utterly captivated, engulfed, and captured by Him that those who look at us no longer see us, but Him.

That is the place I know each of us here is striving to be.

Won’t you join us?

Filed Under: Balance, Battles, Revolution, Spiritual Tagged With: , , , , 7 Comments

Fibromyalgia? Bring It On!

January 28, 2013 By 16 Comments

This is the year I kick Fibromyalgia in the tushie. I proclaimed it in the MLG community and have since repeated it elsewhere.

For most of my life, I have lived with pain. I sat on the sidelines as a child and was ridiculed for it as a pre-teen. During adolescence, I learned to suck it up and move on. In young adulthood, the pain began to control most of my days.

Several years ago, pain was keeping me down most of the time. Despite prayer and medication, I felt like I was being swallowed up by Fibromyalgia. Everything I did, every choice I made, was determined by how it would affect my body. It ruled my life.

I tried to take my life back. I researched and planned. I grew zealous and got busy. I tried to beat Fibromyalgia several times, but I failed every time.  Every time I failed, it felt like a failure in trying to live.

To be honest, it felt that way because I was trying to be someone else. I was trying to remake myself or become the ideal I had pictured in my mind. Instead of submitting my will to Jesus and allowing Him to lead my make-over, I was taking control.

When you give your life to Jesus, however, it’s His.  Sure, you can take it back, but nothing will be the same. Your spirit knows better and will not feel good about it. Thus, I failed at my attempts to take my life back.

It was not until I surrendered control of my health to Jesus that I began to see the gift that Fibromyalgia is. I wrote an entire series about that journey here. In short, because of Fibromyalgia, I learned to surrender the beginning of every day to Christ and to live fully in His strength.

Fibromyalgia does not control my life now, but it does affect most of my days. I hope that when people look at me, they see a girl who lives in Christ and not a girl who suffers, or even a girl who lives by her own strength. I believe that Christ has done a good work in me. Of course, I get impatient and try to run ahead of the Lord, but He quickly pulls me back and reminds me to follow.

I am confident now that it is time to step things up a notch and experience greater health. It will be tempting to take this fight against pain into my own hands. I will be honest about that, but I will also do the following to make sure this is by Christ’s leading:

  • Continue to submit every day in prayer
  • Humbly accept my weakness as a door to God’s strength
  • Believe that His grace is enough
  • Prayerfully consider the advice of others and weigh it against biblical principles
  • Be willing to try new things, but not take it personally when they do not work
  • View my body as the Lord’s temple and treat it accordingly
  • Take each step slowly and listen to the alarms God has given my body
  • Recognize bad days as times of rest, but not as reason to give up
  • Give glory to God for the success He grants

I look forward to sharing this battle with the community at MLG, as I hope to report my progress every month.  I pray that in this battle you will see the most important thing: We Must Love God.

Image courtesy of [image creator name] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Filed Under: Battles, Physical, Spiritual Tagged With: , , , 16 Comments

A New Year, A New Word, and The Great Commission

January 21, 2013 By 8 Comments

If I were to divide time by experience, my new year would have begun in November. The previous year would have lasted from July, 2011 to October, 2012. Yes, it was a long year.

One might have called that time the “Year of Suffering.” It was a year in which we experienced great loss, multiple moves, serious injury, and unemployment. Of course, each event was met by the emotional aftermath. Admittedly, we did not always emerge as triumphant conquerors. No, we were humbled in our suffering, always landing on our knees.

Although it was the most difficult year I have lived, it was undoubtedly the best year of my spiritual life.  I could copy and paste the entire book of 1 Peter, plus a few others to tell you why.  What could have been the year of Resist, Reject or Cease, became something to embrace.

In need of focus, something to point me to Christ when life threatened to pull me away, I chose one word. No resolutions. (Who can keep resolutions amidst such chaos?) Just one word was all I needed. One word would whisper my heart back into focus.

Abide.

Actually, I did not choose the word. It chose me.

The word first appeared when I was preparing to speak for a local home school group. I was scheduled as the “feature family” to share our values, philosophies and experience. While still wading through fallout from our recent trauma, I received a flaming letter from someone close. It shook me up so much that I wanted to skip the meeting. How could I encourage other parents when I was so discouraged?

He whispered to me, “This is not about you… abide in me.”

That night, I stood up and admitted that I did not want to be there. I confessed that my day had been hard and that nothing I could say would do anyone any good. If anything good was to come from that night, it would be through Christ. In fact, if anything good was going to come from any of us, we had to live in Him. We had to abide.

I spoke those words when we were just a few days from moving out of my in-law’s home. It would be a fresh start. I believed that things would finally get better and that we would finally be able to heal. 2012 was still two months away. I had no idea what was coming or how important the one word would become.

There were days when all I could do was abide. Some days began with passionate tears and groans. There were also days bombarded by fear. My heart pounded and my stomach burned. Yet, I was able to find joy, peace, and love because of that one word.

In 2012, I learned to Abide in Christ. I learned to live by the strength of his Spirit and that, when we do so, we are more than conquerors.

I am thankful for the previous year, but I will not pretend that I enjoyed it. I am glad it is over. Will I welcome suffering when it returns? Like an old friend, but I will not invite it. No, I am happy for this new year.

Now, I hear a new word.  It is a word that brings with it promise and excitement. It is a word that will answer my fears and doubts. It is a word that cannot be fulfilled without the choice to abide.

Now, my word is. . .

Go.

As I abide in Christ, “Go,” becomes not only possible, but meaningful.

After the apostles learned to abide, they were commissioned to go.  From twelve men, the message of Christ was spread because they obeyed and chose to go. The ripples from their choice have reached all over the world and across multiple generations.

I get goose bumps when I imagine what God can do, and shiver when I remember that He will do even more. I will obey and choose to go, but only with His promise to abide.

Have you recently come through difficult times? Are you living through them now? Be still, loved one, and learn to abide. Your time will come.

Filed Under: Battles, One Word Tagged With: , , , 8 Comments

Not Where My Story Ends

January 9, 2013 By 13 Comments

The expectation at “New Year” is to look back over the last year, remember it, and turn to the new year with new resolution. While that seems like a wonderful idea, sometimes I think we look back and see things that make us catch our breath.

Things that hurt.
Things that shame.

We see things we realize we’ve been trying to forget. Or things we’ve shoved deep down inside.
Things that feed a voice we start to believe. A cold deceitful voice.

“You are a selfish wife.”
“You are a lazy mother.”
“You will never lose weight, you always give up anyway, why bother trying?”
“Look at some of the things you did. If only they knew who you really were.” 

This is something I’ve struggled with. There are things this past year I have said, things I have done, that broke my heart and hurt others. There are goals I set out to accomplish, and I accomplished them. Yet they came at the expense of my family. There are goals I gave up on, fearing failure, or accepting failure before it even made an appearance.

If the cold deceitful voice were true, that is where my story would end. I would be the quiet woman, unable to eat lunch because my insides were so full of failure. Smiling politely at every “Hi” yet keeping a grand canyon distance between myself and others. The wife and mother who stayed in a constant state of lashing out and hiding because guilt breeds frustration, which then breeds more guilt. The woman who finally gorges on dinner because the fullness of  failure has given way to gnawing pain.

That is Not Where my Story Ends.

I may have done things that caused me shame. However, those things are not who I am.
I am a sinner. However, I am not lost. I know my Shepherd. I hear his voice calling.
And my story is not about me, it’s about Him.
About how he can take my wretchedness and redeem it, and make it beautiful, and have it glorify Him.

“This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” ~1 John 4:9-10 (NIV84)

I have been redeemed.

Because while accomplishing my goals led to destruction, submitting to the calling of my Shepherd let me see His goals.
His goals to step out in faith. To become a one income family, to stay home and  focus on my family, to trust in Him to provide for our financial needs. To open myself up to sisters in Christ, and in the honesty of sharing my heart, finding beautiful women who have brought a gorgeous gift called friendship. To learn how to love my husband in a whole new way, and for it to strengthen our marriage in a way I could not have believed possible.

Because with me, it’s not possible. With Him – the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit – it is possible.
Because He always keeps His promises. Because He offers redemption. Because He redeems.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” ~1 John 1:9 (ESV)

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.” ~Matthew 7:8-9 (ESV)

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” ~Matthew 11:28-30 (KJV)

My hope of encouragement for all is that we silence the cold deceitful voice, and listen with all our heart, all our soul, and all our mind for the small still voice of truth and love.
That instead of carrying anything heavy, scratchy, and smelly from last year into our next year, we instead stop and lay it before Him.
Allowing Him to restore us, renew us, and wash us, taking away the weights, the sins, the burdens.  So we can live a redeemed life.

Redeemed.

I want to live a Redeemed life. I want to be able to share and show a redeemed life to the world, that all may find eternal hope, peace, and love in Him.  I want to succeed in the goals I feel He is already showing me for the New Year. I want to know Him more, give Him more, and love Him more. Redeemed. This is the word I am choosing for my New Year. Because it speaks volumes to my heart, to my life, about who I am, who He is, and all that I hope to accomplish in Him.

In Love & Faith,
RaZella

Filed Under: Battles, One Word, Spiritual Tagged With: , , , 13 Comments
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