All Things Possible

cross-country-skiing-M

It was a tall order for me. I’m certain others wouldn’t have thought that when they saw my One Word for 2012. But oh, if you really knew me.

May I share something with you?
Being Intentional was a God-sized dream of mine.

Though I may pass it off as easy-going or laid back, believe me when I tell you — I’m indecisive, friends. Big time.

So I claimed words from Paul as my own (Philippians 3:10-14) and shared my intentions with the world HERE. Yes, I was going to strive to be intentional every day for a year.

As I look back now, I see how He transformed my lofty, personal goal and made it bigger. What started off as an effort to improve myself (primarily for the sake of my husband) turned into something personal with my Redeemer.

Friends, I discovered this relationship He wants with me — and it’s got Intentional written all over it.

Once I learned the small steps of intention, He showed me an entire routine I could do to glorify Him. An everyday life with purpose.

I discovered how to embrace the opportunity of each new morn. Claim it as a gift and go about my day like He’s in the room with me. Because He is.

When I decided intentionally to seek Him, my eyes began to see His love sprinkled throughout my daily, mundane activities. Wow, does He ever pursue me!

Writing down thanks and recognizing Him became as necessary and as subconscious as breathing. Worship turned from an activity to a state of being. Glory became intimate.

And now I find myself submerged in a scandalous love affair with the King of Kings.

All because I made a simple plea one year ago.
To live intentionally.

This year, He has laid upon my heart a new word to focus on and claim for my own. And I fully intend to go after it with gusto.

For I’ve seen what Christ can do with God-sized dreams.

  • What we see as nearly impossible, He can make achievable. (Matthew 19:26)
  • What we view as a small drop of water, He can use to form a tidal wave.
  • What we pass off as worthless…well…we’ve seen the lengths He’ll go to save even the least of these.

Friends, this is our year to live this gift of life He has given us like we mean it. This is our year to show appreciation for what He has done to redeem us.

So I ask you: Are you in?

Will you live intentionally? Will you radiate His glory? Will you go after your God-sized dreams?

Let’s dedicate this year to Him. Let’s press on, focusing on one thing alone while forgetting whatever path we’ve left behind.

I’d love to hear how He’s pursuing you and transforming your everyday. And I’m so honored to be joining you here so we can encourage each other through every obstacle life throws our way in 2013.

To God be all glory — He who makes all things possible. For you. And even me.

A New Diagnosis

 

A new diagnosis in our family. Type 2 diabetes.

With it a new awareness. Changes. For the person diagnosed and for the whole family.

Changes in diet. Changes in exercise.

This isn’t just a diagnosis for one person, but for the family. To support the person we will all adjust our lifestyle.

I am researching. I am researching menus. I am researching lingo.

  • Ac1 levels.
  • Plate method of portion control.
  • Red rice yeast for cholesterol
  • Control your sugar intake
  • Control starches
  • What are Ace inhibitors?
  • Checking feet daily
  • Aerobic heart rate

I am overwhelmed.

I am not alone.

He will sustain us. He will guide us.

He will use this ALL for good.

 

I will continue to share our journey…..Please share any knowledge ….

 

Being a Friend Through Infertility

A hard lump formed in my throat and tears burned inside my eyes as I focused my vision on the opening scenes. “The Odd Life of Timothy Green” took me by surprise. What I thought would be a fun outing for the children had become a walk down memory lane for me.

After being told there was nothing left to do, the infertile couple drove home in silent reflection of the last few months. I have driven down that road. My mind lingered in remembrance of tests, promises, phone calls and finally, the answer.

Strong emotion stirred within me as the woman in the movie locked herself in an empty nursery and mourned for what might have been. I recalled holding back my tears until a night away gave opportunity for release. And when she walked out of the nursery to declare, “It’s finished.” I remembered my own resolve to move on; “Not my will, but yours.”

The movie captured my attention and gave pause for thought in many areas of life, but the issue of infertility rang most true. Unlike the couple in the movie, our journey came as a surprise since my womb had already held one child.

They call it secondary infertility, but I called it prison. Counting days, taking pills, and tracking bodily functions, became a ritual of pursuing a goal beyond my reach. Waiting in the OB’s office with pregnant women, succumbing to invasive procedures and listening to empty promises felt more like torture than help.  We laid the boundaries and when they were reached, we knew it was over.

As we silently drove home, a weight lifted from my shoulders and I remembered to trust God. Our first baby was a miracle and so would any others be. This fertility issue was out of my hands and I was free!

Do you know someone with secondary infertility?

Have you stopped to consider what they might be going through?

Infertility comes as a shock after previous success. Even though we had waited three years for our first positive pregnancy test, we figured we had this conception gig down. We guessed the rest would be easy. Almost four years later, we were told otherwise. That was eight years ago and my womb remains empty.

The social stigma can be just as difficult as the ache for a baby. According to Resolve (The National Infertility Association),

“Sadly, couples with secondary infertility tend to receive less social support from others than couples who have primary infertility because the infertility is unacknowledged, the pain associated with infertility is invisible as the couple has a child, and there is no concrete loss in the family. In addition, couples experiencing secondary infertility may be recipients of criticism by others who think they should be grateful for one child and that it is foolish to go to extremes to increase family size.”

In addition, people assumed we did not want more children, which was a painful misconception to correct.

Have you found a way to just be there?

I felt misunderstood when people advised me to relax or have faith. When we announced that the pursuit was over, people assured us we would finally conceive. They did it again when we announced plans to adopt. People were trying to help, but all we needed was acceptance where we were at and for others to support our choices. We did not need any more predictions or promises.

People accused me of giving up when I gave away maternity clothes along with bins of baby clothes. They did not see the joy I experienced by blessing someone else. Seeing the clothes used again warmed my heart, and I knew it was God’s will. He would be faithful to provide in the future. I was not giving up hope, but setting dreams free by placing them on the altar.

There is always hope when we trust God for his plan.

Now that our family is complete, the empty womb is completely forgotten . . . by others. I will never forget, but give thanks for secondary infertility. Had it not been for my first son, I would not have known what I was missing and then wanted more. Had it not been for an empty womb, I may not have opened arms to my second son and daughter.

God is the one who brought our family together.  He used special people and circumstances to make it happen. Every child in our home is a miracle.

Just as my story is different from Timothy Green’s, your friend’s story will be different from mine. Sorrow and joy are common in every story, as well as the need for friendship. Are you willing to be a constant and supportive friend?

 

Strength in Numbers

Sisters, this month we’re taking time to reflect on a darker part of many of our lives. Many women have experienced or will experience a pain so great that only our Daddy’s love can soothe it. It’s a pain that rarely fades. It’s a pain surrounded by the “what ifs” and “I wonders.”

Lovely ladies, this month we’re confronting the pain of miscarriage, and the loss of children.

When I was walking through a miscarriage earlier this year, I learned that it is more common than most people are aware. As I was walking through those dark days I found sisters, friends, and family who came alongside me. That group of women included many who you’ll find writing here.

Most of all, it was then, in my darkest days, that I experienced the great tenderness of my Daddy above.

Going through this time, it really got me wondering…why isn’t this something that someone is talking about. During those first couple of weeks, I felt: alone, defeated, deep agony, fear, and -most of all- I felt like a failure. That some how, some way, my body wasn’t good enough to carry that child.

The only way that freedom came was by shedding light on what was going on:

  • Being vulnerable to those around me.
  • Letting them see the raw hurt and pain.
  • Allowing them to see that things weren’t okay.

You know what I found? Empathy. Compassion. Support. Love. Encouragement. All the things I so desperately needed to make it through.

So my friends, if you’ve been through this sort of loss, we welcome you to join us as we take this month to honor those little ones who we all feel should be here now–those that left us far too soon. We apologize for any reopened wounds, but we want you to welcome them, that they may heal better than they were before.

If you haven’t been through this, we ask that you still stop by, read our hearts and take away from our experiences. Chances are that if you’ve not experienced it, you know someone who has. We hope that you may glean from our experiences and use them to love on others around you.

So sweet sisters, this is what we’re here for. To confront the ugliness in this world. Then to point you to your Daddy who is there to gather your tears and soothe your hearts.

We hope you’ll walk this journey with us.

A Call to Reflect

If you’ve noticed around here, we’re about learning how to better love God in all aspects of our lives. That’s one of the things I love the most about this place. We’re all encouraging, challenging, loving on each other to make ourselves more like the One who created us. I believe that this–this type of accountability–is something we all need in order to improve our spiritual impact on the world around us.

My question is this: Are we moving so fast that we fail to take delight in the good that is going on in our lives right now?

Even in the midst of the challenges, the chaos, and the trials, if we open our eyes and ask for the eyes to see, He will be faithful and show us in bits of how He is working and the good that is happening around us. It won’t be easy. Not in the least! But, if we stay the course, continue being faithful to ask for the eyes to see (and the hearts to comprehend) what He’s wanting us to see through this, it is possible.

If things are good, are we taking the chance to say thanks to the one who gave us this time? If not, I encourage you to take some time now, or later today, to pray/journal/blog about it. Maybe even start (or continue) your gratitude list.

Let every detail in your lives – words, actions, whatever – be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way. (Colossians 3:17 MSG)

If things are mediocre, could we take time to seek His heart, His will and His path for us to take? Maybe it’s taking a time for confession. Maybe it’s setting aside some time to seek Him in worship. Or perhaps it’s just taking some time to turn everything off (TV, music, phone, etc.) and sitting in silence awaiting Him to speak into your life.

For we go through all things on account of you, because the greater the number to whom the grace is given, the greater is the praise to the glory of God. For which cause we do not give way to weariness; but though our outer man is getting feebler, our inner man is made new day by day. (2 Corinthians 4:15-16 BBE-Bible in Basic English)

If things are really hard right now, is there anything we can sacrifice for a period of time that would help de-clutter this thing we call life and help us focus on the Creator of all? Even if only for an hour or a day?

Since everything God created is good, we should not reject any of it. We may receive it gladly, with thankful hearts. For we know it is made holy by the word of God and prayer. (1 Timothy 4:4-5 NLT)

So friends, whichever stage you’re in, I want to encourage you to seek His face. No matter where you are right now, may you take the time to step back, take a deep breath, and seek out the good going on around you.

Friends, sisters, what can we do to help you in the stage you’re in right now? Please let us know.

The Day the Lights Went Out

Pulling into the driveway with a tired toddler and a trunk full of groceries, my husband and I debated whether we should wait out the 80 mph winds and sheets of rain that were pummeling our little Honda, or make a run for the shelter and air in our apartment.  We opted for the latter, but just as we stood dripping inside our front door…the power flickered and went out.  Awesomesauce.  We spent the rest of the evening huddled around candles and flashlights in our living room, playing games and eating pizza, praying for air and safety, and connecting with friends and family to see if we could find a place with air conditioning for the night (no air + 7 months pregnant mama + 16 month toddler = no good).  Thankfully, our power was restored later that evening, but others in our community (including my parents) have been given estimates of 5-7 days before the electric company will be able to reach their homes.

5-7 days of no air in these 100+ temperatures.

5-7 days of cleaning out refrigerators and freezers of spoiled food.

5-7 days of reconfiguring how to cook, live, and sleep.

5-7 days of darkness.

Darkness.  The absence of light.

 

Darkness can be frightening, uncomfortable, and dangerous.  And while our nation works to restore light to these communities in the coming days, I’m reminded of an even greater darkness that no amount of AEP crews and new transformers can repair.  Our world revolves around the burning ball of the sun every day and yet, we find ourselves in the worst “darkness” imaginable.  A darkness that is marked by sin, selfishness, and a separation from God.  Because we are born with an inherent sin nature and we all fall short of God’s standards of holiness (Romans 3:23), our lives are lived under the structure and rules of the Enemy.  But that moment we surrender our will and lives and call on His Name to invite Him to take His rightful place in our hearts and lives as Savior and Lord, we become “sons of light” (John 12:36).

We can then claim the words of 1 Thessalonians 5:4-6…

“Brothers and sisters, you are not in darkness…All of you are children of the light.  You are children of the day. We don’t belong to the night.  We don’t belong to the darkness.”

There is such joy and comfort in those words…BUT…He doesn’t leave us there.  He doesn’t want us to just be content in our new-found identity – we’re called to DO something with the knowledge we’ve found and the joy we’ve been given…Matthew 5:14-16 gives us this command from Jesus…

“You are the light of the world.  A city on a hill can’t be hidden.  Also, people do not light a lamp and put it under a bowl.  Instead they put it on its stand.  Then it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine in front of others.  Then they will see the good things you do.  And they will praise your Father who is in heaven.”

Are the lights on in your heart-home?

How can you “be the light” to someone around you today?

 

“It was then that I carried you.”

If I am on a “walk with the Lord,” then I have been at a standstill while He keeps moving forward. I feel like a huge pause button has been pressed in my life.  Everything else kept moving forward, but I have been simply and truly stuck.

For so long I was just waiting for the next thing to happen – May and early June were the craziest months of my entire life.  We packed up our home.  We (and by we I really mean my husband) painted and prepped as much as we could in our new home.  We moved.   In the middle of all of this I had three concerts, two Memorial Day Parades, 4 Graduation Events, an 8th grade recognition night, and two awards assemblies.   And I had to pack up my classroom because they are refinishing the floor in my room this summer.

As I checked one thing after another off my list, instead of feeling more at peace, I still felt heavy, weary and joyless.

And then my Grandfather died.

There is a beautiful poem called “Footprints,” by an anonymous author, that has always been tremendously comforting to me.  Do you know it? Are you nodding along with me?  If not, please–Read:

Image Credit

 

I know that I have not been alone in this dark and gloomy stretch.  But I feel so forlorn, and at times so lost and helpless.  Like the narrator of the poem, I could not, and can not feel His arms around me.  I do not feel the security of His embrace.

Are you in a similar place?  Are you feeling lost, confused, overwhelmed, or alone?  Let’s remind each other how precious we are to Him. How beloved we are to Him.

Lord, help us to be aware of your presence, and feel your tangible care for us.  Help us to break out of this slump, and find the strength again to walk beside you.  We believe, we trust, and we will rest in You.  (And only You. Not in ice cream.  Just sayin’.) Ahem.  Thank you for humor. Thank you for the beauty of a blue sky, and the majesty of the flowers that you create, whether they bloom for a whole season, or for three days.  Thank you for the variety of your creation.  Thank you for our different personalities and strengths, woven beautifully together, to tell Your story.

Thank you, precious Father.  Amen.

 

Why Not You?

Last month I wrote about my bestie and her son Nic.

This journey my friend is on is one I

can.not.wrap.my.mind.around

I was blessed last month to spend 2 whole days

with them at Children’s in Seattle

I got to see the struggles that Nic

is facing everyday

I got to talk with my friend

I told her

“Not gonna lie this is testing my faith and he isn’t even my son”

“Why Nic? Why you?”

Her response….

“Why not Nic?”

“Why not us?”

“Bad things happen to good people”

What I heard was what makes us so special that things won’t happen to us

What I have always thought was if we

are good people

law abiding citizens

rule followers

we are ABOVE bad

Silly me!

When You Have a Beatitude

 

Have you ever had a friend that you just sort of . . . distanced yourself from? You couldn’t really put your finger on it. Or explain quite why it was happening . . . you just called them less. You found yourself calling other friends. You would think about connecting – with a phone call or e-mail, and you put it off instead.

This sort of sums up my relationship with God right now.

I almost wrote about something else. I felt weird coming here and sharing that I’m not as close to God as I usually am.

I didn’t want to really admit it out loud – or to this group of readers. I was going to write something vanilla; something that I know from my heart.

 

I can say that because the Bible and God are still in my heart. They still live there. But . . . the post of my heart is this one. I am out of touch. It is my own doing. And I am working my way through it.

I actually found the courage to write this post after my women’s Bible Study. I shared with them my “non-desire” to pray. Honestly, I’m not sure if it is Alexander’s approaching birthday or the memories of all those horrible things the doctors told us or just … a phase of the moon. But I was reassured by how many women shared they also had periods of time when they felt distanced from God. In fact, I learned that even Mother Teresa felt distanced from God for a period of time. Although I dislike that her private thoughts were shared against her wishes, I do find comfort in knowing that such a
holy figure struggled as I am.

The Bible actually describes this phenomenon – in Matthew… as part of the Beatitudes:

Matthew 5: 1-12

1 Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down.  His disciples came to him, 2 and he began to teach them.

The Beatitudes

He said:

3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds
of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your
reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

 

 

Matthew 5:3 – “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

I think that Jesus was offering us grace, as always, in this verse. He knew that we would
never be able to love God with a perfect love. We would only be able to accept God’s
perfect love for us. As humans, we are subject to the travelings of a human heart. I think
Jesus was letting us know that as long as we continued to repair a strained relationship
with God – we were still considered blessed. I believe, that as much as we are encouraged
to shout our love for the Lord from the rooftops, we are only to do it for the right reasons
– because our heart tells us to.

And… if we cannot shout, we can whisper it until our voice returns. My love for the Lord
has not stopped, and I cannot explain this crisis over my heart. I can only ask for prayers
that it passes quickly and thank God for the blessing of grace.

When “Dear God” Isn’t Enough

"Praying Hands" from Creation Swap

I’d like to invite you into an experience I had earlier this week… would you allow me a moment to set the stage?  As you enter the living room where we’re gathered, you notice the warm lighting and inviting couches and chairs that circle the perimeter.  A soft taupe carpet tickles your toes as you sit down beside me on the floor and survey the room.  One girl curled up on the side of the couch, eyes closed, lips moving, but no sound coming from them – another young woman sits on the other end in a similar posture with tears streaming down her cheeks.  Beside her, a young man sits in a chair, his head in a pillow and across from them a man sits on an ottoman, head bowed deep to his knees with his hands wrapped around the back.  His wife kneels beside him, facing the ottoman with an open Bible in front of her.  Another couple sits on the loveseat and another in a set of chairs, quietly praying with eyes tightly shut.  One young man has taken up the center of the room and is laying prostrate with hands stretched out before him.  Your eyes flit to my husband who sits beside me on the floor with his head bowed and arms wrapped around his knees as he draws his legs up to his chest.

I take a deep breath and quietly begin to strum my guitar as the man on the ottoman, our leader, leads us in a quiet prayer.  For the next twenty minutes, we sing out with shaky voices and reverent spirits to the Great I Am.

What you’ve stumbled upon here is our LifeGroup meeting from this past week and before you get any crazy ideas that this is a typical night for our group – let me point out the chocolate cake crumbs that give evidence to the dessert we just devoured in honor of two birthdays.  Our group time typically consists of large amounts of laughter and coffee and sometimes ends with an exuberant game of Banana-grams or Dutch Blitz!  But today, we have just started working through a study based on Francis Chan’s book, “Crazy Love.”

Francis Chan's "Crazy Love"

Without getting into too many details (because I want you to read it for yourself), let me say that I highly recommend this book to anyone who needs a renewal of their first Love and a push to live their lives as followers of Christ in a more effective and passionate way.  We’ve only made it through the Introduction and first Chapter when you join our group and it’s evident that this study has the power and potential to be life-changing.  In the short section of the book we’ve covered so far, Chan has challenged our preconceived ideas of God and our tendency as Believers to fit Him into a “box” who we  think He is and what we believe He should do for us.  Chan’s words are simple reminders of truths we’ve learned in church, at home, and through our own reading of Scripture, but they are presented in a new light and I’m convicted that I don’t approach the Throne Room of God with the right heart-attitude.

The study prompts an examination of the way we pray – taking us through an exercise of merely looking at the words we use in opening the communication lines with God and how that reflects our heart.  I often fall into the trap of “ritualistic” prayers – I always open with “Dear God,” as if I’m addressing a form letter and move almost immediately into my petitions of “Please help my husband find a better job,” or “I’m so tired this morning – I need fill-in-the-blank,” or even “Well, You know what I need and I trust You’ll meet me there.”  There is nothing wrong with these prayers, but they shouldn’t be a steady diet in my talking to my Creator, Savior, and Father.  Let me back up…in talking with Him – not to Him…this is a two-way street!

Our discussion for the evening has delved into the meaning behind the various names of God and how a better understanding of His attributes can radically change our prayer life.  The more we examine the pictures of God as found in Scripture the clearer the image becomes of who we are actually addressing when we pray.

When you write a letter to a company – you address it: “Dear Sir or Madame,” or “To Whom it May Concern” because you’re not really familiar with who you’re writing to and what kind of person they are – if you were intimately connected with them, your opening lines and the content of your letter would hold a much more personal tone.

In the same manner, by knowing Him better, our communication with Him will become deeper and more intimate.  The scene I described for you earlier is a result of our taking the time to recognize who He is and merely respond appropriately.

He is the Creator of all life and Scripture tells us that all things were created for His purpose, not ours. 

He is completely and perfectly set-apart in His holiness and it is only by the saving grace found in relationship with His Son, Jesus that we are even able to approach His Throne. 

He is LORD and as such is in complete control of everything we have – including our spouses, our children, our finances, our home, our jobs, our passions. 

He is King and as royalty is deserving of our reverence and awe at even being admitted an audience in His Court. 

He is Father and graciously guides and directs our paths with passionate love and an all-knowing will.

I challenge you this week to join me in truly examining who God is and see how that affects your one-on-one time with Him!  What attributes and/or names of God grab your heart the most – when you pray, how does that “image” you hold of Him affect your communication?