A Broken Heart

February 15, 2013 By 8 Comments

I remember parts of the day like it was yesterday, and it has been 18 ½ years.

I remember what I was wearing.

I remember that it was an early summer day with beautiful weather.

I remember trying to hold it together.  Again.  I was not going to break down!

I WAS. NOT.

We were supposed to attend the retirement party of a very good friend.  I wanted to go, but I didn’t see how I could stop crying.

“Everything is OK.”   I kept repeating this to myself over and over.  “It will be fine.”

But it wasn’t.  And it wasn’t going to be.

At least not without some help.

It had been two years since we had buried her.  Two years since dear friends carried her tiny casket out of the chapel.  Two years since I sat at her grave on a sunny June day, with friends gathered around, and felt like my life was over.

I had to get through this…I HAD to.

I had been reading passages on grief.  I was clinging to 1Peter 5:7 and Matthew 11:28.  I had been trying to pray.  I had been asking the Lord to help me with my grief.  I was functioning, but only on the outside.  I went through the motions every day.

And on that day, 18 ½ years ago, I collapsed in my kitchen.  I slid to the floor in a crying, sobbing, withering mess.

I couldn’t do this.  I could not continue pretending that I was fine.  That I was OK.  I couldn’t function.  I couldn’t even stand.  This was NOT working.  I felt like I was at the bottom of a deep hole.  A VERY deep hole and I had NO IDEA how to get out.

My husband called a doctor friend who suggested some ways to get through the rest of the weekend and gave him the name of a doctor he thought could help us and told us we should call him on Monday.

I made an appointment with one of the doctors and it was like I had been given a gift.

The doctor assured me that my grieving cycle was normal.  He told me I was not alone.  Many people get depressed.

He encouraged me to write a letter to my daughter.  He encouraged me to talk about my feelings.  He listened to me and he listened to my husband and me together.  He gave me steps to help me climb out of the dark hole.  And he helped me to learn the signs of depression and what some of my triggers were.   He equipped me to recognize when I might be slipping into that hole again.

Slowly I began to feel better.  Slowly I began to reclaim my life.  I was climbing out of the hole and I felt like I could begin to see the sunshine.

I was going to be OK.

I have shared about Amy on my blog. But I have only shared portions of the story.  I have not shared this dark part.  You might ask why I am choosing to share this part of my story here on Must Love God.  Our theme for February is heart health.  After much prayer about what to write and what direction to take my post, it became clear that the Lord wanted me to share this part of my story.

I was depressed because my heart was broken.  I needed to learn how to deal with my broken heart so that I could move forward with my life.  I had a wonderful husband and a young son…my life wasn’t over!

Yes, I had endured heart ache and pain, but I had much to live for.

A broken heart – no matter what the cause – is not a reason to crawl in a hole and give up.  It is a reason to seek professional help when necessary and learn that there is life on the other side of the darkness.

 

Filed Under: Battles, Emotional, Loss, Spiritual Tagged With: , , , , 8 Comments

When God Sings To You

November 9, 2012 By 2 Comments

It’s hard to give thanks when you’re fighting a battle.

When it feels like your prayers are bouncing off the ceiling, when you don’t know what the next day – or even the next minute – will bring, praise is truly sacrificial.

During so many of these times, when I’ve been at my lowest point, I’ve heard God sing to me.  I turn on the radio, and I hear the perfect song, exactly what I need to hear to lift me and encourage me.  Many times, I have found myself driving as tears stream down my face, listening to the words that I so desperately need at that moment.

Over the years, I’ve seen a pattern of the right song coming out at the right time.  Each time we’ve faced trials, I’ve found a “theme song” for that time in my life.

In 2005, when doctors told us that our unborn son might have Down’s syndrome, our song was Hillsongs “Let The Peace of God Reign.”  We played that song over and over as we begged God for our son’s safety, not knowing what challenges his future, or ours, held.  We played it, sang it, and lived it, until God’s peace did pour over us.  We played it more when he was born without Down’s syndrome, but a month premature, facing a new set of health challenges.

In 2006, as we faced two moves and the betrayal of close friends, we were left reeling.  So many times, I cried out to God and felt as if my prayers were hitting the ceiling.  I had never been so hurt and so broken.  I was battle weary, wounded and exhausted.  During all of this, Superchick’s song “Stand in the Rain” came out and became my theme.  I’ll never forget singing and praying the words – “Stand through the pain, you won’t drown, and one day what’s lost will be found…”

Months later, in early 2007, we faced our third move in a year – this time leaving our lifelong home state of Arkansas behind – and Bebo Norman’s song “I Will Lift My Eyes” was released.  After all we had faced in the previous two years, I didn’t know how much more I could take.  This song reminded me it’s not me – it’s God.  He can do what I can’t.

Some days, it’s just hearing the song I need in that moment…like the day I was headed to school, beating myself up for all my failings and mistakes, when Francesca Battestelli’s song, “Beautiful, Beautiful” came on…”Like sunlight burning at midnight, making my life something so beautiful, beautiful, mercy reaching to save me, oh and I need You, it’s so beautiful, beautiful…”

God amazes me.  He will speak to me, reach out to me, comfort me, in any way He can.  The God of the universe…the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob…the Creator…He loves me enough to sing to me, to comfort me, to whisper to me that He knows.  He loves me that much.  I’m so insignificant…but His love for me is endless.

No matter how fierce the battle I’m facing may be, He is enough.  He loves me, He knows me, and that is enough to be thankful for.

Filed Under: Battles, Emotional, Spiritual Tagged With: , , , , , , 2 Comments

Tell it from the Mountaintop

September 28, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Welcome! We’ve created a Special Series for you this month! We’ll
take 4 weeks and focus on 4 elements to ‘Reset’ our lives for Him.
We’re calling it ’4×4 Reset’. If you missed the introduction, you
can find more details here. Each post will feature a READ IT
(scripture verse), a SEE IT (motivation), & a DO IT (challenge/
call to action). Our 4×4 Reset Toolbox is available and has links
to all the posts and to our resources, including our Build a Firm
Foundation Printable tracking page. Be sure to subscribe to not
miss a day, & join us on Twitter & Instagram using our hashtag
#4x4Reset!

Tell it From the Mountaintop

 

This has honestly been the hardest week of the reset to put together…why? Because our minds are powerful! What we think about we bring about and the words we say to ourselves can be caustic and create wounds that are oh so deep.

And how do we change that? I think we have to come to an acceptance of who God created us as emotional creatures and rely on Him!

Unfortunately I know it’s not always this easy. Many of us in this group suffer from clinical depression and/or anxiety (I’ll admit I’m one of them). I’m thankful that I’ve been able to seek medical and professional help for these illnesses (and yes I refer to them as illnesses – just like high blood pressure and diabetes) and have found relief with the addition of some medication.

I’ve realized that I’m not alone and that I don’t have to be silent about this!! As Michelle stated yesterday, God created us just like this. I have found myself in a deeper relationship with Him through this!!

We are a community of women…a rag tag group of believers…much like 12 men I’ve read about in Jesus’ time. We’re our own tribe. We can be real with one another!! We no longer need to be ashamed of who we are, but instead can use it as a point to grow on!!! We can be perfectly ok with who we are, and still want to move forward.

 

 

Read it:

See it:

Click here to watch today’s video, Go Tell It On The Mountain. Yes, it’s a Christmas song, yes I respect the Turkey, no I’m not in the Christmas spirit…but this song represents who we are and what our voices should be saying!!

Do it:

Filed Under: 4x4Reset Tagged With: , , Leave a Comment

Put on the FULL Armor of God

September 25, 2012 By 1 Comment

Welcome! We’ve created a Special Series for you this month! We’ll
take 4 weeks and focus on 4 elements to ‘Reset’ our lives for Him.
We’re calling it ’4×4 Reset’. If you missed the introduction, you
can find more details here. Each post will feature a READ IT
(scripture verse), a SEE IT (motivation), & a DO IT (challenge/
call to action). Our 4×4 Reset Toolbox is available and has links
to all the posts and to our resources, including our Build a Firm
Foundation Printable tracking page. Be sure to subscribe to not
miss a day, & join us on Twitter & Instagram using our hashtag
#4x4Reset!

 

Put on the FULL Armor of God

 

This last weekend we went to an outdoor training camp-out. It was an amazingly educational weekend with like-minded people. Sunday morning we had service by the campfire. I wish we could have church that way every week!

The preacher spoke on spiritual battles and putting on the full armor of God. Being ready for what may come your way.
If you have the Holy Spirit IN you that battle fighting is much easier….not a cake walk….but easier when He is on your side. Who better to have in your corner than Jesus??

Ephesians 6:10-18


 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

READ IT:

SEE IT:

Now, this mom is on to something! Being totally ‘souled’ out for God. What an example for her daughter, even though she seems a bit perturbed that her daughter caught her on video. :)

 

DO IT:

 

Filed Under: 4x4Reset Tagged With: , , , 1 Comment

The Healing Properties of Art Journaling

September 17, 2012 By 2 Comments

Welcome! We’ve created a Special Series for you this month! We’ll
take 4 weeks and focus on 4 elements to ‘Reset’ our lives for Him.
We’re calling it ’4×4 Reset’. If you missed the introduction, you
can find more details here. Each post will feature a READ IT
(scripture verse), a SEE IT (motivation), & a DO IT (challenge/
call to action). Our 4×4 Reset Toolbox is available and has links
to all the posts and to our resources, including our Build a Firm
Foundation Printable tracking page. Be sure to subscribe to not
miss a day, & join us on Twitter & Instagram using our hashtag
#4x4Reset!

 

The Healing Properties of Art Journaling

 

So God created….God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.

Genesis 1:27a, 31

 

Ten years ago, when I was pushing 30 rather than 40, I never would have guessed that I would someday struggle with mental health issues.  Even typing those words makes me want to be liberal with my delete button and go back to being hush-hush about it.  But nevertheless, here I am, five years past my first episode with depression, and one year after being told I probably have a mood cycling disorder.  I chose to research and implement non-medication based treatment options.  Art was one of those options.

 

“Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.”

~Thomas Merton~

 

Quite simply, art heals.  Picasso said that art cleans from the soul the dust of everyday life, but I would argue it does much more than that.  The desire to create comes directly from the Father Himself.  Art in any form communicates things that are deeper and more profound than the reasoning mind can fathom.   It taps into parts of us that otherwise we may never know, more digging than dusting.  I find that when I write, tear, glue, and paint, my arm and hand seem to mysteriously know things that I only realize are true after they are out on the page.  When I combine both the visual and the written, magic happens.

 

I began an art journal after seeing the beauty in a friend’s journal.  Images, quotes, color, collage all found themselves together and beautifully joined as she wrestled with questions and emotions that needed more than just a college-ruled page of text.  My first art journal pages were clunky and awkward to my eye, but I fell in love with the process.  I took quotes from favorite books, from scripture, and added a mess of acrylic paint or watercolor pencil or ink.  I grew into a style that relies heavily on metaphor and symbolism and expresses the hard things in a way that is beautiful and raw.  I don’t love every page, but inevitably every page says something about me.

 

Art Journaling is a possibility for anyone and everyone.  Whether you believe yourself creative or not, you can feel the cleansing and purging that art journaling can provide, and find yourself more deeply connected to the Creator in the process and the mess.

 

It’s not about result.  Art journaling is about discovery.

 

This is not necessarily a how-to post.  This is a “why” post, a post to inspire and to give you an option for healing and coping.  A quick google or pinterest search will reveal the hidden world of the art journal community, and a feast for your eyes of all different styles and types.  A library trip will yield books and inspiration for the start of your journey, and Amazon will provide even more.  The materials required can be as simple as sturdy paper (bound or not), crayons, leftover magazines, and a glue stick, but the variety available offers much more if you’re so inclined.

 

 

Read It:

See It:

 

Do it: 

Create a “Who I am” page, either on cardstock, or a good thick piece of paper.  Write “I am” somewhere on the page with bubble letters, cut text from a magazine, or stamped letters, and then collage anything that answers that statement for you.  It could be found scraps from around the house, images printed off the web, or text from catalogs.  Color or paint around the pieces, or doodle, or scribble.  Drip coffee.  Or even trace your hand with sharpie over the collage.  Anything goes.  Make it you, and make it healing.  Be honest and real and true.

 

Guest Writer Christine Heister:

is ‘a homeschooling mom of four beautiful and unique children, cherished wife to my perfect match, musician, singer, writer, and most importantly, a follower of Jesus, though I stumble on my way.’  She writes about whatever’s on her mind at her blog: Fruit In Season.  Find her on Twitter @FruitNSeason and Facebook, and don’t miss checking out her art journal photos on Instagram @fruitnseason!

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When My Heart Feels Like a Giant Balloon…

June 25, 2012 By 3 Comments

Inflation David via Compfight

Just when things are marching along and going really well, life usually steps in and throws me a curve ball.  Often, these curve balls leave me feeling completely deflated emotionally.  A fantastic week suddenly feels like, “What’s the point, I’ll never stop struggling.”

This cycle happens for me over and over again.  I recognize it, but I don’t know how to stop it.  I don’t even know if it CAN be stopped.  I get pumped up, filled full of optimism, hope, and joy, then something comes along to let all the air out of my balloon and I’m back to being deflated again.

My heart… my emotional heart… feels like a giant balloon.  I work and work and work to fill it up, fighting off depression and despair, laziness and sloth.

I know what fills up my emotional balloon and staves off the blues:

  • Exercise.  The more the better.  The more consistent the better..
  • Prayer, quiet time, talking to God…
  • Yoga ( because it’s exercise, quiet time, and talking to God all rolled into one.) It’s beautifully soothing….
  • Blogging, a place and time to reflect and get some of the thoughts out of my head…
  • Journaling, a more private, less structured way to let the creativity flow and soothe my soul…
  • Even eating healthy clean foods has helped me fill up with positive energy…

All of these things fill up my emotional balloon….

But no matter what I do, something always lets the air back out.

 

Things like:

  • Stress little by little, tiny things add up eventually
  • Huge life stresses like illness, relationship struggles, finances, and more…
  • Overcommitted &/or overwhelmed in life with busy schedules…
  • Tired…not enough sleep lets the air out fast…
  • Things outside my control…

They deflate my emotional balloon so much faster than I can fill it up sometimes.

At what point do you decide that no matter how hard you huff and puff to keep the balloon full, it’s not enough to keep it from deflating again?

At what point do you decide you need help from outside yourself to keep your balloon filled?

Life is filled with ups and downs.  

Nothing is going to change that.  

But shouldn’t our emotional balloons be filled more than they are deflated?

Where do you draw that line and ask for help?

 

I wish I had an answer for you, but this is something I’m struggling with myself.  I will say this:  If you think it’s possible that you might need help… go find someone and ask for some.

I’m pretty sure God doesn’t want you struggling alone.

Filed Under: Battles, Emotional Tagged With: , 3 Comments

7 Unlikely Places to Overcome Your Worry, Anxiety, Stress & Fear

March 28, 2012 By 2 Comments

Hungry, I come to You
For I know You satisfy…
I am empty but I know
Your love does not run dry.

–Kathryn Scott, Hungry (Falling on My Knees)

We know that Jesus is the bread of life. We know that if we go to him, we will never go hungry, and if we believe in him, we will never be thirsty. And yet, we are overcome with worry, stress, anxiety & fear. We spend time reading scripture, in prayer, hiding His Word in our hearts. We find peace in His presence. We have faith.  Yet, as we go on about our daily lives, the fear, anxiety and worry creep stealthily back into our hearts.

What can we do?

Then suddenly a woman who had been suffering from hemorrhages for twelve years came up behind him and touched the fringe of his cloak, for she said to herself, ‘If I only touch his cloak, I will be made well.’ Jesus turned, and seeing her, he said, ‘Take heart daughter; your faith has made you well.’ And instantly the woman was made well.  –Matthew 9:20-22

If we can just touch the fringe of his cloak, we too can be made whole. Made well. Our faith can heal our insecurities, worries, and stress.

‘But, how can I do that?’, you ask.  It’s not like Jesus is still walking the earth and we can just ask Siri, ‘Where will Jesus be today?’  It’s true, he’s not here for us to touch physically.  But, Oh! How he is still here!

So… Where do we find Jesus today?

He is everywhere.  Anywhere we are, he is there with us. When we are stressed, worried, and overwhelmed, he is with us.  We need simply to reach out to him,  to try to touch the fringe of his cloak, not just during our quiet times, but all throughout the day.

We need to saturate ourselves in him.

The question becomes not where do we find him, but how do we continue to reach out to touch his cloak, to find that peace, even in the middle of lives full of missing shoes, mismatched socks, road rage, and empty coffee creamer bottles?  It’s easy to forget how close we felt to him during that quiet time, and feel like he is suddenly a million miles away.

How do we saturate ourselves with Jesus?

Music.

Berthold Auerbach said: ”Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.”   Oh, that is so true.    We are told in the book of Ephesians (5:19) to “speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord…”  It’s even been proven that music has the power to heal: ”The power of music to integrate and cure. . . is quite fundamental. It is the profoundest nonchemical medication.” – Oliver Sacks, Awakenings. 

Music is the tool by which we can saturate ourselves with the peace that we only find when sitting at his feet.

The best part is, you can use music pretty much anywhere, any time of day.   Find songs that inspire and soothe you.  Choose songs that speak to your heart, and fill you with peace and hope.  Listen on the radio, take note of your favorites from worship, or check out our new resource page for ideas.  Create a playlist, and start listening! It might even be that you find a particular song that resonates and just listen over and over until your heart can sing it by memory.  And if you listen so much that your five-year old sings it in the bathtub, just consider that a bonus. ;)

7 unlikely places (and songs) to overcome

worry, anxiety, stress or fear:

 

  • Doing piles of laundry or sinks full of dishes

          –Song: On the Mountain by Christa Wells

  • Driving in traffic

    –Song: The Motions by Mathhew West

  • Waiting in line at the post office

              –Song:  Healer by Kari Jobe

  • At the gym

    –Song:   Move by MercyMe

  • Sitting in never-ending carpool lines

    –Song: Glorious Day by Casting Crowns

  • Pulling weeds and doing yard work

    – Song: Beautiful by MercyMe

  • Anywhere you find worry or stress 

    –Song: My Hope Is In You Lord by Aaron Shust

Join the conversation:

What’s your favorite song to soothe and relieve worry, stress or anxiety?

Where is the most unlikely place you’ve used music to sit at his feet?

Filed Under: Spiritual Tagged With: , , , , , 2 Comments

Clawing your way out of a funk

March 24, 2012 By 3 Comments


As my daughter worked through months and months of grieving following her father’s death, I watched her morph into a completely different child. She became very depressed, and we were forced to seek professional treatment that included doctors, medicines, even a hospitalization or two. Now, coming out of the valley, we’re starting to really experience life restored and made brand new. At her last doctor’s appointment, the kind old psychiatrist declared her healed. “I see no remaining symptoms of depression in your daughter.”

Praise God. These were the words I’d been longing to hear for months. But he explained that in patients recovering from depression, we must watch for recurrence.

I asked the doctor exactly what to watch for. “Sadness, irritability, weight changes…”.

“What else?”

“Loss of sleep, anger, decrease in work performance ….” But this doctor has been around and I’m sure he could see on my face what I was desperately trying to keep stuffed inside my heart. He continued, “And why are you asking, Mom?”

Maybe it was the way he looked at me. Maybe it was the compassion in his voice. Or maybe it was because I was suddenly smacked upside the head with the realization that I was the depressed person in the room. I’d held it together for two and a half years into this grief journey, but things had finally caught up with me and the tears threatened to pour right there in my daughter’s therapy session.

Driving home, I thought about how to go about seeking treatment. But then I thought about how I’d like to beat this without meds. As I drove, I brainstormed. It was on that day that I came up with a plan to claw my way out of my funk.

All-natural ways to beat depression without ingesting pills of any kind:

1. Eat more whole foods, doing away with all refined foods when possible. 

2. Set an earlier bed time and stick to it. Set an earlier (but reasonable) alarm and don’t push snooze in the mornings.

3. Move as much as possible, even if all you have time for is a ten-minute walk twice a week. Something is better than nothing.

4. Pray more. I mean, really, really talk to God and get still enough to listen.

5. Spend time in the Word. Find a Bible study you love and dig in deep.

6. Use your gifts. Do you sing? Hop to it. Do you serve? Get busy. Can you write? For a blogger it might just be the best therapy of all.

Did you ever stop to think that maybe these hard moments God allows us to go through are great opportunities to find a deeper appreciation of the gifts He gave us? I don’t mean mere talent. What about the nutritious bounty of the earth, or a soft mattress to fall into at night, or the awesome privilege of talking to Him and hearing from Him through His Word, or the good health that allows us to move and serve and create and bless others?

It’s such a shame when we don’t take full advantage of what He’s blessed us with. I acknowledge that there are just times when severe depression warrants medical treatment (as in my daughter’s case). But why not give these things a try anyway? You know, just to see what happens.

Do you know some tricks to beating depression?

Filed Under: Emotional, Physical, Spiritual Tagged With: , , , , 3 Comments

Finding Joy… {Review & Giveaway!}

March 15, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Count Me Accountable is slightly different from usual this week.  Sometimes, it’s easy to focus on improving our physical health, and ignore other areas that also need work.  Today, we want to talk to you about also being accountable for your emotional health.  That’s not an easy topic to talk or write about.  It’s too often swept under the rug and ignored.  But the reality is, emotional health is important.  It’s our prayer that you’ll read this post all the way through, whether you think it fits you or not. You might need to be accountable in this area, but it’s also very possible that someone in your life might need this, even if you do not.  In fact, we’re blessed to not just talk about emotional health, but to be able to offer a giveaway of our very own Amanda Pelser’s new book:  Finding Joy in Depression is now available in PDF, Kindle and Nook.

http://www.findingjoyindepression.com

Here’s a little insight as to what you’ll find inside Amanda Pelser’s new book:

Have you ever felt the following?

  • Low mood or irritability
  • A loss of pleasure in usual activities
  • Major change in appetite or weight
  • No energy
  • Feelings of worthlessness, self-hate, and guilt
  • Trouble concentrating
  • Hopelessness or helplessness
  • Repeated thoughts of death or suicide

Source: Finding Joy in Depression

Do these symptoms fit you?

Do they apply to someone you love?

If so, it’s possible that it may be a form of depression.  According to Finding Joy in Depression,

“If you experience multiple symptoms for a prolonged period of time, you may have some form of depression. Please seek out the advice of your doctor or trusted counselor.”  

If you’ve experienced this yourself, you know what it feels like.  If you haven’t, it’s hard to understand what it’s like, that’s it’s more than just sadness or a bad day.  If a loved one is dealing with this, and you don’t understand it, there is a quote  in the chapter “What is Depression?”  that made the point very well:

“There is no point treating a depressed person as though she were just feeling sad, saying, ‘There now, hang on, you’ll get over it.’ Sadness is more or less like a head cold – with patience, it passes.

Depression is like cancer.”

~Author Barbara Kingsolver in The Bean Trees

Source: Finding Joy in Depression

 

As someone who has dealt with depression before, I highly recommend this book.  It’s a quick, easy read, and it’s packed with good information.  Amanda tells her own story openly and honestly, and offers thought-provoking questions for the reader to consider at the end of each chapter.   The first half of the book tells her story, and deals with symptoms, seeking help, and treatments as well as triggers, the connection with family history, and even the attitude of the church.  The second half of the book deals with ways to take care of yourself (or someone else) through depression.  Topics like how she copes by creating routines, eating right, using prayer, and exercising to uplift mood are covered.  There’s even a chapter on chocolate and coffee!

Personally, the part in chapter 4 where Amanda talks about how she’d been dealing with depression for some time, and that others had seen her struggling, broke my heart.  So many of us who deal with depression do exactly that. I did.  We struggle alone, in denial, and loved ones know there is something wrong, but no one knows how to help.  Sometimes we even deny the problem when someone does offer help.

If you’re struggling, please follow Amanda’s example.

Read her book.  Ask for help.

If it’s a loved one you see struggling, please be brave and talk to them openly and honestly, with love, about how you see them hurting.  Finding Joy in Depression would be a great resource to read before approaching someone who is struggling.

Additionally, the Finding Joy In Depression website  also has great information, and Amanda encourages readers to come there to share their stories and encourage one another. You can also join the community on Facebook at facebook.com/joyindepression or connect on Twitter at twitter.com/joyindepression.

Do you need to be accountable and ask for help?

 

Now for the giveaway!

We have generously been offered a copy of Finding Joy in Depression to one lucky Must Love God reader.   To enter, leave a comment below and tell us about how depression has touched your life, or the life of someone you love.  We’ll draw the winner randomly next  Wednesday evening at 8pm central time, and announce the lucky reader in next week’s CMA post.  Good luck!

Disclosure:  I was given a free copy of Finding Joy in Depression to review here.  All opinions expressed here are strictly my own.

 

Count Me Accountable Linky:

Join us as we encourage each other to be accountable for our own wellness. Physically.  Emotionally.  Mentally. Spiritually.  Link your post below, or feel free to just leave a comment if you don’t blog.


 

Filed Under: Emotional, Mental Tagged With: , , , , Leave a Comment

You Can’t Run Alone

February 22, 2012 By 19 Comments

It’s hard to run this race all alone.

I hear the buzzing of my phone in my room, indicating I’ve received a text. I walk over to the antique desk where my phone continues to pulsate against the wood. The distinct golden grain of the oak secretary begins to blur in my vision as I look down at the phone. Picking it up, I read, “You doing okay?” The tears have begun their descent, quick and hard.

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The text was from a dear friend, a sister in Christ. She knows the days have been hard. She knows of the internal battle I regularly fight against the lies in my mind and the tears I try so hard to contain.

The phone buzzes again. “What can I do? How can I pray?”

Scripture describes the Christian life in a number of ways–a path, a walk, and a race, to name just a few. I am not a runner, but one thing I’ve observed from watching friends who are:  it’s better to not train or run in a race alone.

The Christian life is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s a long journey that will challenge our endurance to the very core of our being. The blessing of having brothers and sisters in Christ who can run alongside us is an encouragement that keeps us moving forward.

An athlete who hears the cheers from friends and family in the stands is encouraged to keep going. Uplifting words spoken between teammates can rally a team to work harder. To run this race, we need our sisters in Christ. We need one another to spur us forward. It is essential that we surround ourselves with teammates who know us well.

Because some days, we might just want to drop out of the race all together.

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I’m stumbling through the day, wondering if I can make it to bedtime. Feeling weary and heavy in heart, the lies seem to shout even louder, reverberating across the canyons of my mind. Then I hear my phone again. In the next text, she asks if she can take the kids for a while, giving me time alone. She knows me well enough to know just what I need. Since I won’t ask for it, she offers the help and encouragement my heart needs most.

She would have never known what I needed had I not allowed her to see me without my mask. I had to be real and transparent about my battles. I had to reveal my weaknesses and pain.

Sadly, many friendships in the church remain at a superficial level. Our pride keeps us from taking off our mask and stop pretending that we have it all together. We forget that we are all sinners, saved by grace. Not one of us has a better edge on this race than the other.

We need each other.

Have you taken off your mask to a few sisters in Christ? Have you allowed them to see the challenges you face in this race? Will you stop trying to run it alone?

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. Hebrews 10:24

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Brothers and sisters, we urge you to warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak. Be patient with everyone. 1 Thessalonians 5:14

Filed Under: Accountability, Battles, Emotional, Friendship, Mental Tagged With: , , , , , , 19 Comments
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