My One Word: Reckless

January 7, 2013 By 7 Comments

I’m a very shy person.  (To my close friends who are reading this and laughing – stop.  I know you well, so you don’t count!)  Until I get to know someone, until I’m comfortable in a situation, I tend to be withdrawn and quiet.  I don’t like to make waves.  But this year is going to be different.  This year I’m going to be bolder, more daring, ready to take chances.

I’m going to be reckless.

It may seem like a strange choice for my one-word resolution, but I’ve never been so excited about a New Year’s resolution, and I’ve never felt God leading me to one as strongly as I feel this.

So what inspired it?  There were a couple of big influences.  First is the Jeremy Camp song by the same name…

Next is Francis Chan, whose book Crazy Love completely changed my life and my faith.  Kat at Inspired to Action shared this video a few weeks ago, and this sums up what God has been dealing with me about recently:

How much of my life have I spent hugging the balance beam, trying to love God and be safe?  But “safe” doesn’t do great things for God – reckless does.  God loves me with reckless abandon – how can I give Him anything less?  This year, I want to step out of my comfort zone and see where God takes me.  It’s scary…but it’s exciting, too, and I’m ready to be reckless.

Filed Under: One Word, Revolution, Spiritual Tagged With: , , , , , , 7 Comments

When Your Greatest Fear Becomes Your Story

October 22, 2012 By 7 Comments

The memory is seared into my brain.
I can see it like it was yesterday.

Learning Resources Center/Graduate Center, Oral Roberts University, Tulsa, OK

by preservationidaho

I walk into the classroom reminiscent of the sixties in hues of gold and blue.  I smile as I see my-slightly-more-chatty-than-normal-psychology-major friends sitting in our usual front-row-of-the-class seats.  I slide into my seat excited, as our newly-favorite professor begins the study of the day.

Counseling Psychology I.
Finally, it is my senior year and already this material is making my Top Hits list.

Dr. Feller shares scenarios with us and we students engage in a lively, guided discussion, especially the loud mouths on the front row.
And suddenly he begins to present the case that would impact my heart for life….

A couple in counseling….
…because they cannot have a baby.

Immediately solutions spouted from the mouths of students in class.

“They have so many options.”
“Maybe they could adopt.”
“They could get a surrogate.”

I raised my hand in frustration, “But what if that is not the point. What if the desire of this woman is to carry this child in HER womb? What if she just needs to grieve that loss?”

My wise professor capitalized on the moment and asked me to role play the part of that woman in counseling. I did my best to portray her heart, her desires, her longing, her sense of loss.

And I walked out of class that day praying to God with a fear lodged deep into my heart that THAT would never be my story.
I did not want THAT testimony, even if it ended in God’s miraculous favor.

Thirteen years later, and four and a half years into our infertility journey, we are that couple.
I am that woman.
That is my story.

Two years into “The Wait,” I railed and blasted at God.

Why would He let me walk through the ONE valley
that I really begged him from the depths of my soul to not let me walk?

And honestly I still do not have a concrete answer.
I cannot tell you why one of my biggest fears came true.

What I can tell you is how I have changed because of it.
How my heart is softer.
How my eyes see grace quicker.
How brokenness has become like my own skin
And how slowly but surely it has absorbed into my person in ways that are beautiful.

I know that might seem funny to say about myself.

But I see Jesus in me so much more.
And where I need to see Him more in my life is NOW so much more painfully obvious.
Somehow that dichotomy, that polarity within, shows the fragrance of Christ in a way that I did not expect.

In this season MOST unexpected, MOST unwanted, MOST undesired, MOST hated, I have found that Jesus is more real than the breath I breathe and the songs I sing.

The pain is still there.
EVERY.
SINGLE.
DAY.

Yet, grace abounds.

The Law came in so that the transgression would increase; but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more,
Romans 5:5
New American Standard Bible (©1995)

Even in the hard.
Even in my fist-gripping control
Even in the stubborn pride
Even in the give-me-what-I-deserve-moments
Even in my judgments
Even in my fears.

His grace abounds.

In my broken pieces
In my empty spaces
In my hollow heart

His grace abounds.

And if this season makes me a little more like Jesus every day,
Who Am I… 
     …..to say no….???

Even though I had to get there the hard way
Even when I still do it the hard way
over and over again.

Yet…
His grace abounds….
Always.

May you find strength in your broken places today. May the Savior who saved your soul become the One you cling to when the whole world seems to be falling apart. May those moments where you wonder if you can trust Him be consumed with the deep-undeniable-knowing that He loves you above all else, that He is with you like no other, that He holds you in the shelter of His wings, and that in every circumstance His grace abounds all the greater because of your pain.

Filed Under: Emotional, Loss Tagged With: , , , , , , , , 7 Comments

Tell it from the Mountaintop

September 28, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Welcome! We’ve created a Special Series for you this month! We’ll
take 4 weeks and focus on 4 elements to ‘Reset’ our lives for Him.
We’re calling it ’4×4 Reset’. If you missed the introduction, you
can find more details here. Each post will feature a READ IT
(scripture verse), a SEE IT (motivation), & a DO IT (challenge/
call to action). Our 4×4 Reset Toolbox is available and has links
to all the posts and to our resources, including our Build a Firm
Foundation Printable tracking page. Be sure to subscribe to not
miss a day, & join us on Twitter & Instagram using our hashtag
#4x4Reset!

Tell it From the Mountaintop

 

This has honestly been the hardest week of the reset to put together…why? Because our minds are powerful! What we think about we bring about and the words we say to ourselves can be caustic and create wounds that are oh so deep.

And how do we change that? I think we have to come to an acceptance of who God created us as emotional creatures and rely on Him!

Unfortunately I know it’s not always this easy. Many of us in this group suffer from clinical depression and/or anxiety (I’ll admit I’m one of them). I’m thankful that I’ve been able to seek medical and professional help for these illnesses (and yes I refer to them as illnesses – just like high blood pressure and diabetes) and have found relief with the addition of some medication.

I’ve realized that I’m not alone and that I don’t have to be silent about this!! As Michelle stated yesterday, God created us just like this. I have found myself in a deeper relationship with Him through this!!

We are a community of women…a rag tag group of believers…much like 12 men I’ve read about in Jesus’ time. We’re our own tribe. We can be real with one another!! We no longer need to be ashamed of who we are, but instead can use it as a point to grow on!!! We can be perfectly ok with who we are, and still want to move forward.

 

 

Read it:

See it:

Click here to watch today’s video, Go Tell It On The Mountain. Yes, it’s a Christmas song, yes I respect the Turkey, no I’m not in the Christmas spirit…but this song represents who we are and what our voices should be saying!!

Do it:

Filed Under: 4x4Reset Tagged With: , , Leave a Comment

Why You Need To Let Your Light Shine

September 27, 2012 By 12 Comments

Welcome! We’ve created a Special Series for you this month! We’ll
take 4 weeks and focus on 4 elements to ‘Reset’ our lives for Him.
We’re calling it ’4×4 Reset’. If you missed the introduction, you
can find more details here. Each post will feature a READ IT
(scripture verse), a SEE IT (motivation), & a DO IT (challenge/
call to action). Our 4×4 Reset Toolbox is available and has links
to all the posts and to our resources, including our Build a Firm
Foundation Printable tracking page. Be sure to subscribe to not
miss a day, & join us on Twitter & Instagram using our hashtag
#4x4Reset!

Why You Need To Let Your Light Shine

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.   ~Romans 12:1-2

We’ve spent this whole month of September studying how to RESET our lives; Spiritually, Physically, Mentally, and this week Emotionally.  I believe the emotional aspect of our life is often the one we overlook, hide, or bury down deep, locked away in a hidden part of our souls.

Romans 12:2 says Do not conform to the pattern of this world… The pattern of this world is hiding our hurt, denying that we struggle, and trying to do it all on our own, without help. God doesn’t want us to do that.  He wants us to be transformed and to do it by the renewing of our minds.  He wants to transform us by changing our attitudes & how we think.

He wants us to stop hiding our brokenness.

 

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
~Psalm 139:13

He wants us to stop hiding our brokenness because we aren’t really broken at all.

You see, I was recently courageous enough to break the patterns of this world and seek treatment for depression.    I’ve been hurting, denying my struggle, and trying to do it all on my own for more than 20 years.   In being diagnosed officially, and starting treatment, I’ve learned that no matter how hard I tried on my own, there was still a chemical imbalance in my brain.  It’s just how I’m wired.  What I realized smack in the middle of worship this Sunday was this:  God made me this way.  He created me with this chemical imbalance.  Intentionally.

My first thought was “Why would He do that to me?  Why would he create me broken?”

Almost before I could finish that thought, He answered, “Because it makes you realize you can’t do it all on your own. It makes you Trust Me and ask for help.”

He wants us to stop hiding our brokenness because we aren’t really broken at all.

He made me this way on purpose.   He created my inmost being, He knit me together in my mother’s womb. This disease, this disorder, this whatever, is not a curse.  It’s a blessing.

It is a blessing.

Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Stop hiding.  Look at what feels broken in you, emotional or otherwise, as a way to connect deeper with Your Father.  He loves you.   And he designed you to shine, not hide under a bushel.

Go shine!

 

Read It:

See It:

Click here to watch Our God Is Greater…

Do It:

 

 

 

Filed Under: 4x4Reset Tagged With: , , , , 12 Comments

More Than Just Me

September 10, 2012 By 1 Comment

Welcome! We’ve created a Special Series for you this month! We’ll
take 4 weeks and focus on 4 elements to ‘Reset’ our lives for Him.
We’re calling it ’4×4 Reset’. If you missed the introduction, you
can find more details here. Each post will feature a READ IT
(scripture verse), a SEE IT (motivation), & a DO IT (challenge/
call to action). Our 4×4 Reset Toolbox is available and has links
to all the posts and to our resources, including our Build a Firm
Foundation Printable tracking page. Be sure to subscribe to not
miss a day, & join us on Twitter & Instagram using our hashtag
#4x4Reset!

 

More Than Just Me

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.  Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.  
                                                                                                                    Romans 12:1-2 NLT

We’ve been trying something a little different with our kids lately.  They spent most of the summer swimming, but now that we’re getting back into the routine of homeschool and tighter schedules, we wanted to make sure we kept them exercising.  Not to mention the fact that my husband and I both need to get more exercise, and I have my first 5K coming up next month – so we started taking them to our local high school track to run and walk as a family.  We discovered something that kind of surprised us: our boys love to run.  Although I’ve been training for this upcoming 5K, I got showed up pretty badly…by my 7 year old and my 10 year old.

One night after we came home, I was thinking about how amazing it was that we found this love of exercise in our boys.  What really amazed me is was the realization that fitness is about a whole lot more than me.  It’s about setting an example for those around me, and especially for my family.  My boys both love to read.  That’s not too surprising, because I’ve been reading to them since they were babies.  Reading is one my favorite hobbies, and they’ve learned to love it because I love it.  Our boys also love dogs because we’ve had a dog their entire lives.  Some of the things they love are uniquely their own, special, God-given talents and passions.  But so much of who they are and what they do is formed from what they see.

Fitness and health are no different.  My sons are learning their eating habits from us, their parents.  They are learning the importance of exercise from us.  They are learning how important caring for our physical body is from us.  So what are we teaching them?  What kind of example are we setting?  Knowing that completely changes the way I look at my fitness routine.  My sons are learning and forming habits that will last a lifetime.  I want to – I have to – do all I can to empower them to create good habits.  It’s not just my health on the line – it’s my family’s health too.

Read It:

See It:

Source:Free Printable found on Pinterest. Click image for direct link to the printable at itworksforbobbi.com.

 

 

 

Filed Under: 4x4Reset, Physical Tagged With: , , , , 1 Comment

The Day the Lights Went Out

July 16, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Pulling into the driveway with a tired toddler and a trunk full of groceries, my husband and I debated whether we should wait out the 80 mph winds and sheets of rain that were pummeling our little Honda, or make a run for the shelter and air in our apartment.  We opted for the latter, but just as we stood dripping inside our front door…the power flickered and went out.  Awesomesauce.  We spent the rest of the evening huddled around candles and flashlights in our living room, playing games and eating pizza, praying for air and safety, and connecting with friends and family to see if we could find a place with air conditioning for the night (no air + 7 months pregnant mama + 16 month toddler = no good).  Thankfully, our power was restored later that evening, but others in our community (including my parents) have been given estimates of 5-7 days before the electric company will be able to reach their homes.

5-7 days of no air in these 100+ temperatures.

5-7 days of cleaning out refrigerators and freezers of spoiled food.

5-7 days of reconfiguring how to cook, live, and sleep.

5-7 days of darkness.

Darkness.  The absence of light.

 

Darkness can be frightening, uncomfortable, and dangerous.  And while our nation works to restore light to these communities in the coming days, I’m reminded of an even greater darkness that no amount of AEP crews and new transformers can repair.  Our world revolves around the burning ball of the sun every day and yet, we find ourselves in the worst “darkness” imaginable.  A darkness that is marked by sin, selfishness, and a separation from God.  Because we are born with an inherent sin nature and we all fall short of God’s standards of holiness (Romans 3:23), our lives are lived under the structure and rules of the Enemy.  But that moment we surrender our will and lives and call on His Name to invite Him to take His rightful place in our hearts and lives as Savior and Lord, we become “sons of light” (John 12:36).

We can then claim the words of 1 Thessalonians 5:4-6…

“Brothers and sisters, you are not in darkness…All of you are children of the light.  You are children of the day. We don’t belong to the night.  We don’t belong to the darkness.”

There is such joy and comfort in those words…BUT…He doesn’t leave us there.  He doesn’t want us to just be content in our new-found identity – we’re called to DO something with the knowledge we’ve found and the joy we’ve been given…Matthew 5:14-16 gives us this command from Jesus…

“You are the light of the world.  A city on a hill can’t be hidden.  Also, people do not light a lamp and put it under a bowl.  Instead they put it on its stand.  Then it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine in front of others.  Then they will see the good things you do.  And they will praise your Father who is in heaven.”

Are the lights on in your heart-home?

How can you “be the light” to someone around you today?

 

Filed Under: Spiritual Tagged With: , , , , Leave a Comment

Is Church Nothing More Than an Alarm Clock?

May 23, 2012 By 1 Comment

How many of us, when the alarm clock goes off in the morning, either hit snooze or dismiss? If we’re honest, almost each and every one of us hears the alarm go off and hits whatever button will make it stop going off, but continue to lay in bed. We rarely allow our alarm clock to do its job, to wake us up from our slumber.

Then there’s the ever persistent biological clock. You know the one. When you wake up before you want to and insist on laying in bed until the last possible minute despite whether you are sleeping or not. We lay there cursing our mind or body for being too active to be able to go back to sleep, when honestly, it’s just our body’s way of saying we’ve had enough rest and sleep.

Now, lets apply this to our spiritual walk. How many times do we sit in church, listen to the message, agree with what is being said and just leave without letting it affect us? Worse still, how often do we have an encounter with God and His Spirit and we treat it like we do our alarm clock? We are extremely revved up after the encounter, but when we get back to real life it only changes our actions momentarily.

What would our world look like if we let the encounters with our Creator affect us for the rest of our lives? How much more would we be able to witness to those around us if we would let the Holy Spirit overtake our day-to-day life instead of letting the brief life circumstances overtake us? Maybe the real question is not how it would affect others, but how would it affect us to allow the God of the universe have complete reign in our lives.

We, as Christ-followers, need to quit using church as an alarm clock. We need to stop using it as something to get us “refilled” at the start of the week. Rather, it should be about us going to meet with the Almighty to thank Him for getting us safely through another week.

So here’s my question. Are you willing to allow God to transform you or will you continue to use church functions as a place to get revved up for the next week only to let life get you down by the middle of the week? Please be honest with yourself and with God on this question.

So as I leave you today, I want to challenge each of us to allow the messages, passages of the Bible, and lessons we learn to be more than just an alarm clock. May they do what we expect them to do and may God use them to transform our lives into the beautiful masterpiece that only He can see. Then when the masterpiece is done, we will be able to go up into Heaven and enjoy the tapestry with our Father.

Filed Under: Mental, Spiritual Tagged With: , , , 1 Comment

Freedom from the Feast

April 5, 2012 By 1 Comment

They thought it was just another Passover feast.  The disciples had no idea what was about to happen.  But today, we take a moment to remember this last supper.

Take, Eat.  This is my body….  Drink this, all of you. Matthew 26:27-27 MSG

We remind ourselves of this communion Jesus had with his disciples every time we experience the bread and wine at our own churches.

Do we need to remember it more?

ciabatta by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere

Photo by Sisterlisa @ Pixosphere

So much of my own struggle with my health and wellness involves food. I can’t help but wonder if it’s the same for you gals….is it?

My mind has gotten so wrapped up in getting healthy and losing weight, that my view of food has been skewed.  Food has become truly my enemy.  Food has become an idol, set upon a pedestal.

Thankfully, this season of Lent, I’ve been able to step away and reconcile this relationship with food. Now, on my journey, I am trying to see it as God’s gift to me.  It’s the fuel my body runs on.  I eat when I’m hungry and refrain when I’m not.

Food no longer has a hold on me.  I have found freedom in the cross, in the communion of the passover feast, and in Jesus Christ Himself.

Do you need to come face to face with Jesus?  Do you need to sit at the table of the Passover feast?  He has given us His body and blood, He gave His life on the cross for us, so we may live free.

Do you have that freedom?

Each Thursday we join up here at Must Love God to create community.  We are not in this alone, together we can achieve our goals.  Those God sized dreams can become a reality.

Let us know how you’re doing.  Either comment here or write a post and link it up.  All we ask is that you add the CMA button and give the other sisters some comment love!!

Filed Under: Accountability, Physical Tagged With: , , , 1 Comment

The Battle Is Happening Whether We are Ready or Not

March 19, 2012 By 7 Comments

 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.  Ephesians 4:1

The Sword of the Spirit. (Most effect when taken out of the box.) Image credit: Albion Europe ApS

 

When I examine my life and my choices in light of that verse, I feel a slew of conflicting emotions. Tell me I’m not alone??  I feel motivated to do my best all the time, and to really weigh my decisions.  But I also feel shame, since there are very few times that I actually live up to the calling that I have received.

And let’s be honest–most of the time I am stumbling over the same sinful behaviors that I have been trying to find freedom from for years. Not quite so victorious.   Yet how can I expect to be victorious when I have not been training myself for the battle?

24 Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! 25 All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. 26 So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. 27 I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.  1 Corinthians 9:24- 27

We are warned time after time that we are facing a very real enemy.

8 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

And we are given strategies for battle:

13 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. 14Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere. Ephesians 6:13-18

 

I read the verses. I nod, and say “yes, Lord, Amen!”  But when the temptations come, my default mode is still to flounder, lost, in my own strength and inability to conquer.  And I wonder why I stumble.

But this is what I do know, and what I can do. I will feed on the Word of God.  I will saturate my heart, mind and spirit with the words of life, and truth. I will read the entire book of Ephesians, every day.  It will remind me that I was once lost, but am now beloved.  That I am treasured work of art, with a specific purpose.  It will affirm the things I know to be true about love, and how to treat those around me.  And most of all, it will equip me to stand firm.

After all:

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.  Galatians 5:1

 

So let’s take up our sword of the Spirit, and the shield of Faith, and our helmet of Salvation.  Friends, sisters – -  I will see you on the battlefield.  And when the waging becomes tiresome, come find rest for your soul, and compassion and kinship in our community group.

 

 

Filed Under: Battles, Emotional, Mental, Physical, Spiritual Tagged With: , , , , 7 Comments

We are God’s greatest masterpiece {CMA}

February 16, 2012 By 14 Comments

I have to admit, when we started this journey to health together last month, I had my own preconceived notion of what this challenge would mean for me. I had it all mapped out. I knew (or so I thought) exactly how it all would go.

But my plans are not His (Jeremiah 29:11).

The stat of a Journey
Creative Commons License photo credit: Mustafa Khayat

Over the last few weeks, God has gently nudged me into a whole different direction. He’s been whispering to my heart that this journey to health (for me) should not be focused on my weight. Because that isn’t at the root of why I’ve lived an unhealthy life for so long.

He wants me to dig at the real root of this weight issue. And it has nothing to do with weight at all.

The LORD gave another message to Jeremiah. He said, “Go down to the potter’s shop, and I will speak to you there.” So I did as he told me and found the potter working at his wheel. But the jar he was making did not turn out as he had hoped, so he crushed it into a lump of clay again and started over. Then the LORD gave me this message:  “O Israel, can I not do to you as this potter has done to his clay? As the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand.

Jeremiah 18:1-6, NLT

The Potter and His wheel

How many times have we tried to “perfect” that which God gave us? (I said “we,” but I’m really talking to mean me.)

Like nothing we do is good enough. The way we look needs to be modified. Improved upon.

How could we ever be so vain as to think we can improve upon how He created us?

Even though I return week after week to revisit my ultimate goals of getting healthy, this week the question ringing in my mind is: Lord, what does Your “healthy” look like for me?

Because His ways are higher than my ways. His thoughts, higher than my thoughts. 

He is the Potter. I am the clay.

I’ve struggled long enough with trying to fit myself into a mold of my own making.

I want to be pliable in His hands. I may struggle against the friction of the spinning Potter’s wheel. But if I hold steady, His very capable hands will start pushing me into the direction He means for me to go. He will work me and shape me into His masterpiece.

And my friends, He will do the same for you.

The truth? The truth is He loves us more than we could ever comprehend. He understands our battles of trying to become more physically fit, more mentally healthy, more spiritually wise. But sometimes our preconceived notions of “healthy” just might not be anything He has in mind.

So from here on out, instead of focusing all my attention on food and diets and plans and exercises, I’m going to focus on His word. I’m going to seek His direction and help, so that I can come to a clearer understanding of who I am in Him. And what He wants for me.

Because I think that is the key to getting, and living, healthy. It isn’t about how much weight I can lose. Or what kind of special exercise I can try in order to tone my body. It’s about becoming comfortable in my skin and following Him.

He will perfect me. He will give me the strength I need to say no when I need to say no. He will tap on my heart’s door when I veer off in the wrong direction. He will light every path before me.

Because He loves me. He made me. He knows me (and you).

After all, we are God’s greatest masterpiece.

* * *

Must Love God
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Filed Under: Accountability, Spiritual Tagged With: , , , 14 Comments
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